Page 187 of Sword & Shadow
Evylin scoffed. “Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“Then why, pray tell, were you holding hands the other day?” Despite Thom rolling his eyes, Evylin kept going. “And why is it,” she demanded, “that you two are always together?”
“We all agreed not to leave anyone alone,” he reminded her. “While you and Ethenn are out having a splendid Warrior time, someone has to stick around to protect the woman.”
“Pshaw. Ilain can protect herself.”
“Then why do we have our rules?”
Evylin smirked. “To protect you, of course. You’re carrying the Relics. That makes you our most prized commodity.”
“Exactly,” Thom said, latching onto her argument. “We can’t be alone. That doesn’t mean Iwantto spend all my time with Ilain. I just do because I have to.”
Evylin eyed him. “So you wouldn’t be upset if she were to, say...” She paused, clearly pretending to search for an example. “Be with Ethenn?”
Thom scrubbed a hand over his face. He glanced at the pair more than a hundred feet ahead now. Ethenn adjusted awkwardly in his saddle while Ilain continued to talk. For the first time, he worried that the highlady had taken his budding friendship the wrong way. What if Ilain thought he was gaining feelings?
Thom ground his teeth. “Did she put you up to this?” he asked.
“No,” Evylin said too quickly.
Thom swore again. “Doesshethink I have feelings for her?”
Evylin dipped her chin, studying him. “Don’t you?”
“I’ve already told you no.”
“Then why were you and Ethenn fighting over her yesterday?”
“Evylin, let it go.”
“I don’t want to see you hurt, Thom,” Evylin said, ignoring his dismissal.
Thom couldn’t help his caustic laugh. “Ilain Calder can’t hurt me.”
“Thom—” She reached over and touched his arm comfortingly. His skin burned with guilt under her fingers. “You don’t have to be ashamed of feeling something for her. She’s a beautiful, wonderful woman. You’ve gotten close, and it makes sense.”
“Evie, stop.”
“If you truly don’t care,” she pressed, “if you have no feelings for her, then why wouldn’t you tell Ethenn the truth? Why would his jealousies bother you?”
Heat crept along Thom’s neck like a leather strap, choking him. “Just stop,” he said weakly.
“Because you do feel something for her,” Evylin surmised. “Because despite knowing you have no future, you want it anyway.”
Thom hated how true her words were, no matter the misplaced recipient of his affection. It felt cruel, having Evylin reveal his fate to him. For the reality was that his love would perpetually be unrequited. His future was that of broken isolation. All because he couldn’t overcome his resentment and failings.
He jerked back on the reins, bringing his horse to a disgruntled stop. He glared at Evylin, daring her to test him. “I don’t have feelings for Ilain,” he said vehemently.
“Then why are you and Ethenn fighting?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes!” Evylin tossed her arms to the side, her horse sidestepping in agitation.
“Fine.” Thom leaned forward until their faces were only a few inches apart. Evylin’s expression pinched as he let his gaze soften, locking with hers. “It’s because he knows how I feel about you.”
