Page 186 of Sword & Shadow
Thom snorted. “You owe me two coppers.”
“Really? Then what were you thinking about?” Evylin’s good-natured smile lit her face like it used to. Somehow, in the past two weeks, her grief had softened. It wasn’t gone, but it was less. Or maybe she was just distracted by the loss of Deckard.
Thom adjusted in his saddle. He didn’t like that thought or her question. He might be ready to admit his faults to Ethenn but not to her.
Choosing to deflect, Thom shook his head. “I won the bet; now you owe me an explanation. What are you up to?”
Evylin gave him a side-eyed glance. “I’m trying to give Ilain a moment with Ethenn.”
Thom frowned. Just a few weeks ago, Evylin was trying to set him up with Ilain. When had she chosen to switch sides? A sprig of inexplicable envy worked through Thom. Why did Evylin suddenly favor Ethenn over him? Was it because of their connection as Warriors? Had she replaced him with the lad?
Shaking off the feeling, Thom forced himself not to care. He cleared his throat and gave her a half-felt smile. “I see. Well, do you still want to know what I was really thinking?”
“I do.”
With a ready lie, Thom motioned to the landscape around them. “Say we get all these Relics, and the Alliance has won the war,” he raised his brow, “what are you going to do?”
Evylin’s grin faltered for only a second. “I haven’t really thought about it.”
“No?” Thom didn’t believe her. “The woman who planned to leave her tiny village for a life of adventure doesn’t have plans for the future?”
“No.” Her reply came sharply. Then she shook her head as though casting off whatever caused her clipped tone. “Adventure isn’t what I thought. Too much horseback riding and sleeping in the rain. Not enough fighting.”
“Yes, I know,” Thom said, familiar with the sentiment. He gave her elbow a nudge. “You could be a sellsword. I hear they do far more fighting.”
Evylin let out an amused scoff. “I’m not sure that Jonn would approve.”
Thom turned back to the road. He hadn’t expected Deckard and Evylin’s marriage to last based on her insistence that they separate. He’d thought she intended the parting to be for good. Now, it seemed he was wrong.
“No, I don’t suppose he would,” he muttered.
Evylin didn’t notice his dejection. “What about you? What will you do?”
His brow furrowed as he realized he hadn’t considered it. What would he do? Remain as a soldier? Stay in Deckard’s shadow? Run away to the southern continent of Matteire? Start a life of his own?
Thom felt his eyes drift to Ilain and Ethenn. The clouds had obscured the sun once more. A dull gray shadow hung over the terrae. What would Ilain encourage him to do? She was wiser than people gave her credit for—wiser than most women he’d met. And he had no doubt she’d steer him in the right direction.
In his prolonged consideration, Evylin tapped a finger on the front of her saddle. “Thom,” she said with something like pity in her tone.
He turned to her, unsure what she had to pity him for.
Evylin’s warm brown gaze held his. “You know a life with Ilain isn’t possible, don’t you?”
Thom’s stomach dropped. “Evylin, that’s not—”
“I know you’ve grown close,” she said, misinterpreting his denial. “And while I’m sure you share a mutual respect for one another, it wouldn’t work between you two.”
Muttering a curse under his breath, Thom pinched the bridge of his nose. “Evie, you don’t understand.”
“I do. I swear.”
“No.” He gave her a bland glare. “You don’t.”
Evylin quirked an eyebrow, clearly disbelieving of his claim.
“It isn’t like that,” Thom said. “Ilain and I aren’t—our flirtations are not real. Neither of us has feelings for one another.”
However, Thom realized that wasn’t altogether true. He did feel something for Ilain. An admiration, a regard, a like-mindedness. They were strikingly similar, and she made him feel understood in a way few others did. It wasn’t love—it was, as Evylin herself had said, respect.
