Page 26 of Fall For Me
“A nod is better than a fuck you, fuck off, or my personal favorite . . . get fucked.”
A laugh bursts out of her, pulling a smile from me. I step back, and when I begin cleaning everything up, she grabs my arm. Her touch lights me up, and sparks ignite from the top of my head all the way to my toes.
“Thank you for the hot air balloon ride and for patching me up,” she says.
And with that, she turns to leave, and I watch as she makes her way to her room, with a small amount of hope blooming in my chest.
Nine
Hannah
My mind races as I step into my room.
Married.
He was married to Allison. And my friend Savannah thoughtshe’dbe the one screwed over by that bitch, but nope it wasme.I’ve been the one to pay for Allie’s indiscretions.
A part of me, the irrational and insecure part rearing its ugly head, is jealous.
Jealous that I couldn’t hold his interest the first time we met, but she could. Jealous that I wasn’t good enough, but she was. Jealous that he fell in love withherwhen she was so completely un-fucking-deserving of it, and all I got was his body.
There are vast differences between Allie and me. She’s stunning, where I’m plain. She’s outgoing. I’m an introvert. She’s charming where I’m . . . hell, I don’t even know what I am . . . but I do know I’m definitely not charming. Hell, I couldn’t even form a coherent sentence the night we met. My tongue practically twisted into a knot, and I couldn’t force a word out of my mouth to save my life.
Closing my eyes, I imagine her saying something witty in his earthat causes him to tilt his head back and bark out a loud, hearty laugh from deep within his chest before his twinkling brown eyes settle back on her.
I wish I didn’t know what she looked like, or how she was, because maybe then I wouldn’t be standing here in my room playing the comparison game. How could I not? He gave her pieces of himself that he’ll never give to me. I’ll always think of myself as the second choice, even if that’s irrational.
Why did I give that nod? He said he wanted a lot of kids, and I can’t give that to him.
He didn’t say he wanted kids withyouthough; he wanted kids withher.
My cheeks fill with air, and I slowly blow out an exhale.
This is not productive. I’m sounding like a whiny ass “pick me,” and that’s not who I am.
Pulling my phone out of my backpack, I power it on so I can FaceTime Aiden. If anyone can pull me out of this funky mood, it’s him. He’s always tangled up in some kind of crazy debauchery that makes me laugh.
The little, white Apple logo lights up my phone as it powers back on, and I gather my stuff so I can jump in the shower before heading off to Arches National Park for the night to stargaze. My phone chimes as notifications pop up on my screen, and my attention snags on one in particular. What’s this?
Life360:
Life360 sends help to anyone in your circle.
I click the notification which takes me to an app I know I didn’t download onto my phone. I’m directed to the message center portion of the app, where I click on a couple different icons until I’m brought to the main screen with two little circles—one a picture of me, the other a picture of Sean. I swipe up on the tab at the bottom of the screen and the circle with Sean’s greyed-out picture shows him near his home address since the night he picked me up from Elixir.
The snake.
Furious, I storm back to the kitchen, finding the asshole right where I left him.
“What. The. Fuck.” I hold my phone up so he can see the screen. “You know, if you’re going to download a tracking app onto somebody’s phone, you should probably turn off push notifications. This is fucking psychotic.”
“You call it psychotic, but I have better terms for it.”
Rolling my eyes, I fold my arms against my chest. “I’dlovenothing more than to hear how you spin this.”
A smirk slowly lifts the edge of his mouth as he prowls toward me. “Let’s start with devoted. Determined. Hell,investedworks too.”
Each word brings him closer until we’re close enough that our lips are almost touching. His nose grazes up and down the side of mine, and his breath dusts across my lips as he speaks low. “Relentless. Driven. Addicted.Obsessed. . . want me to keep going?”
