Page 27 of Fall For Me
“This is insane,” I whisper back, my heart launching into a full-blown sprint. Trembles rack my body, and a desperate longing to reach out and pull him closer, even though we’re a hairsbreadth apart, nearly suffocates me. Instead, I hold myself back.
“You’re a fucking bastard.”
“I’m your fucking bastard, and you love me like this.”
This is the Sean I fell so hard for. The one who claims me. Possesses me. Dominates me. The one with red flags flying all over the damn place. And the sick part of it is . . . I love the way it feels when he does stuff like this. I crave it. For some messed up reason, any kind of attention he shows me—good or toxic as hell—ignites the dopamine within my system, tricking me into feeling loved and wanted by him.
Drawing back, he looks into my eyes. “You fucking haunt me. You’re everywhere. In every corner of my mind, stitched into memories I can’t stop replaying. Memories that won’t let me breathe, some that I wish I could forget, and those I never want to let go of. I’m falling apart over you, Rebel. I wasn’t tracking you; I was chasing you, and I’m going to keep chasing you.”
I’m on the verge of cracking; torn between saying “screw it” andclosing the distance between our lips and storming away. His phone begins to ring, but the shrill tone doesn’t cause him to break eye contact with me, making me feel as if I’m more important to him than whoever’s on the other end of the call.
“I’m deleting the app,” I say, taking a step back.
“No, you’re not,” he argues, silencing the call and pulling up the app on his phone. “And not because I’m telling you not to, but because you don’t really want to. You won’t admit it, but I know eventually your curious mind will begin to wonder where I’m at, who I’m with, what I’m doing. So, here you go . . . full transparency.”
He holds his phone up where I can see the screen and clicks the button to turn on his location. “I wasn’t lying when I said I haven’t been with anyone else since you. How could I be when the only woman I wantisyou? This is me, earning your trust.”
“That’s not the kind of trust you need to build with me, Sean. When we were together, or whatever you want to call it, we agreed to be exclusive as long as we were having sex with each other, and I never once doubted you. What you did when we were apart is none of my business.”
“Yet you keep making it your mission to remind me of the person I was before you when that’s not who I am anymore.”
Leaning against the counter, I hang my head in shame. Out of anger, I’ve accused him of a lot of things. I’ve made assumptions based on his previous actions before me without just cause. Now that I think of it, I haven’t seen anything in the media lately, not that I’ve gone looking. I’ve been sparing myself from further heartbreak because the sight of him with another woman would kill me. Raising my chin, I look him in the eyes. “That was unfair of me, and I’m sorry.”
“I’ve put all my cards out on the table. What do you need me to?—”
“You broke my fucking heart! I loved you, Sean, deeply, with my entire soul, but you led me on, then pulled the rug right out from underneath my feet. Over and over, you did that to me. How do I know with one-hundred percent certainty that you won’t hurt me again?”
Embarrassed by my vulnerable outburst, I turn my head and spotthe ointment. Before he can respond, I swipe the tube off the counter and head toward my room to take a shower, but his voice stops me before I reach the hallway.
“I lied. When I said I didn’t love you, Hannah, I fucking lied. I did love you. Fuck, I still do.”
All the blood running through my veins shoots straight to my head, causing little tingles to spread throughout my body. Everything goes dark for a second before tears begin to burn my eyes. I try to will myself to move, and walk toward the bedroom, but I’m stuck in place, as if my legs are weighed down by a thousand pounds of concrete.
Collecting my bearings, I turn around, eyes locking with his. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”
“You don’t need to say anything.”
He takes the few short strides that place him right in front of me, and as he reaches up, thumbing away my tears, my phone rings.
“Please don’t answer that,” he whispers, pressing his brow to mine.
My phone stops ringing and begins ringing again. We both look down at Aiden’s name scrolling across the screen. The ringing stops and starts again; this time it’s a FaceTime call.
“Something could be wrong,” I say.
Sliding my thumb across the screen, I answer the call, staying where I’m at so Sean can hear the conversation. I don’t know why. Maybe subconsciously I want him to know there’s nothing going on between Aiden and me.
“Hey, Aiden.”
“Thank God you picked up. Fucking finally! Listen, I’m in a bad way, and I need your help,” he rushes out, panicked and running his fingers through his hair.
Expressions mirroring, Sean and I look at each other with our brows drawn together.
“What’s up?” I ask, glancing back at my phone.
“So, uh . . . um,” he stalls.
“Oh, God. What happened now?”
