Page 48 of Aidan (The Doherty Mafia)
We were both being stubborn.
Okay, maybe I was a bit more stubborn than her.
But if I said the words and opened this door—there would be no turning back from that.
If I claimed her and made her a part of my life, I would be opening myself up to a world’s worth of vulnerability. Something I wasn’t prepared for.
Most importantly, I wasn’t prepared to trust Leah.
Not so long ago, when I was on the brink of starting a new life with her, she had made me feel like I had nothing to offer. When she walked away from our relationship, she reinforced the idea I always had about myself—I wasn’t like my father. I wasn’t like all the men who are able to build happy families. Who are able to stick to a relationship.
After her, there was no other girl I wanted to test drive. Nobody else would ever be good enough. Leah was the reason I didn’t plan on ever settling down.
And now she was back in town, spying on me, keeping secrets, seducing me. Why should I have trusted her now? Why would I let go of my own emotional wounds for her now?
I threw the ice pack in the kitchen sink and decided to take a shower instead.
I needed to forget and there was only one way to do it.
I called Nolan the moment I stepped out of the shower.
“Call the others and tell them we’re on for tonight at the bar,” I said, hanging up.
I’d already wasted too much time on Leah. I needed to hang out with my brothers. Surround myself with people who didn’t betray me.
That would hopefully remind me exactly what my life looked like now. There wasn’t any space for Leah in it and I was better off alone.
Maybe if I fucked a different chick, that would send the message home too.
It wasn’t like we were in an actual relationship. It wasn’t like Leah could do anything about it if I banged someone else.
I changed and left the apartment without a second thought. I still had a few hours to kill before hitting the bar and I planned on getting some work done in the meantime. Ever since Leah landed back in town, every other aspect of my life had been ignored and it was time to change that.
I wasn’t going to make everything about her anymore.
“What the fuck are you doing, man?”
Killian stood behind me at the bar. I didn’t expect to see him here, considering he had Reese at home now. Wasn’t that what all engaged couples did? Shack up together and refuse to lay eyes on the rest of the world.
“I’m having a drink. What the fuck are you doing, man? Where is that lovely fiancé of yours?”
Even as I spoke, I could feel the floor undulating under my feet. I’d been drinking since early evening, before anyone else showed up at the bar.
Killian placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it tightly.
“Reese is spending the night with Isabelle. They’re going over some of the wedding plans, probably getting drunk, I don’t know. I don’t need to keep tabs on her,” he said.
I found myself grinning sheepishly.
“I mean, you probably should keep tabs on her, considering Aldo Baron is probably doing it.”
I was on the verge of telling him what Leah told me. How Aldo used her to keep tabs on me, but I decided against it. I wasn’t willing to throw her under the bus yet.
“Thanks for the advice. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he replied, smirking too.
I passed him a mock salute, then held the glass of whiskey to my lips and spilled it down my throat in one large gulp.
Killian watched me.
“Why have you decided to get drunk tonight?” he asked calmly.
I looked over my brother’s shoulders at my other brothers and some of my friends. They were all standing around the pool table, joking and talking loudly. A few girls had joined the group, draping themselves over the guys. There was always an abundance of chicks here. They wanted us and we could have them. Fresh for the plucking.
“I am always up for getting drunk. It’s not a decision I’ve had to make. What’s gotten into you?” I spoke to Killian, but I was annoyed with him.
I wasn’t happy with the direction his questions were taking.
“Where’s Leah?” he continued.
I shrugged. “Fuck if I know. I’m not her keeper. Maybe she’s with Reese and Isabelle, planning the wedding.”
Killian’s eyes narrowed at me. “So, this is about her.”
I banged the glass down on the bar and made to walk away from him. Killian grabbed my elbow and I pulled away from him aggressively.
“Get the fuck off me!” I growled.
I could sense that got the attention of the others who turned to look at us from over at the pool table. Killian clenched his jaws. I could see I pissed him off. Well, he pissed me the fuck off too.
