Page 75 of Risk It All
“This is it,” I said in awe.
“It’s beautiful,” he murmured. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
When I glanced over at him, his eyes were already on me. “Of course. I’m happy to be here with you.” And I meant it.
We set up the picnic blanket underneath a tree, giving us abreak from the rising heat and sun beating down on us. We were tucked away but still had a perfect view of the water.
Once we were sitting, Leo pulled a lunch box from his backpack. He took the ice packs out and handed me something wrapped in parchment paper.
“I made us sub sandwiches and brought some chips and fruit, too.”
I had a feeling I was about to eat the best sandwich of my life.
“You’re spoiling everyone in Golden Falls with your food, especially me,” I said while unwrapping the sandwich.
“Maybe you deserve to be spoiled.” He looked over at me before taking a bite of his sub.
He’d said it so simply that I wasn’t sure how to respond. Luckily, I didn’t need to, because I took a bite of my sandwich instead.
“Oh my god,” I said on a mouthful, groaning without any shame. “Every fucking time.”
“That first bite hits different, doesn’t it?” he asked with a grin.
“Uh-huh,” I said while taking another bite.
“Good. I like when you’re moaning.”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t hide the smile on my lips. I reached for a napkin. “Have you thought about what comes next after Lake Ridge?”
“A little, yeah. I started reaching out to some restaurants this week and sending in applications.”
“Really?” I blinked, surprised, even though I shouldn’t have been. That had been his plan from the beginning…it just felt more real now. “Where are you thinking?”
“I’d like to stay in the Midwest, maybe Chicago, Madison, or Minneapolis. I like being closer to my mom, but I still feel a pull to be in the city. It’s not as strong as I thought it’d be—I’ve enjoyed my time in Golden Falls more than I thought I would—but there’s still something there that’s leaving me wanting more.”
I nodded slowly. “That makes sense. I mean, the job at Lake Ridge isn’t quite what you were aiming for, right? Hopefully the experience gets you where you want to be. I still don’t understand how your old restaurant passed you up on a promotion.”
Maybe I hadn’t eaten at the world’s best restaurants, but that wasn’t necessary to know that Leo’s food was the best I’d ever have.
His eyes met mine. “As much as it sucked in the moment and as much as I liked Portland, I don’t think I was happy there. I thought at the time that the late hours and the fine dining prestige were worth the sacrifices I had to make…and while I still want to make something of myself, I’m realizing that I want balance, too.”
“Wes has been good about pushing balance on us, but it’s mostly Jules’s doing. Before her, he was constantly working andsomoody and grumpy.” I shook my head. “He still is, at times, but he always means well.”
I smiled as I thought about how much Wes had changed for the better since meeting Jules. Lots of people in my life had changed for the better since meeting their partners, and I wasn’t sure why I didn’t think that was possible for myself. Because the thought of someone changing me was terrifying. Would they make me better or would they chip away at who I was, and I wouldn’t realize until it was too late?
That thought stayed with me as our conversation shifted and we finished our food. We changed positions, too.
I now sat leaning against the tree, and Leo was lying on his back with his knees bent. His head rested on my lap, and I absentmindedly ran my fingers through his hair.
We were enjoying the silence between us filled with birds chirping and ducks splashing in the lake.
I asked the question that had been on the tip of my tongueearlier. “Do you feel like you had to change who you were in your past relationships?” I asked. I remembered Leo telling me about his most recent ex when we were on the rooftop, but I wondered if there was more to it. “Or did you feel like you were changing for the better?”
He hummed as he thought. “I think in my most recent relationship, yes, I felt like she wanted me to change who I was. There were aspects of who we were fundamentally that just didn’t connect, but at the same time, she was seeking that balance I talked about earlier. But it was in a way where I didn’t think I could have both her and my career. It shouldn’t feel that way with the right person.”
“Do you miss her?” I asked curiously.
He shook his head immediately. “I don’t. I think that’s another clear sign that she wasn’t the person for me.” He tipped his head back to look at me. “What’s got this on your mind?”
