Page 160 of Dream House
“Oh, Stella.” Pen launches at me and squeezes me in her familiar, bony hug.
I hug back and let myself cry for a moment. Just a moment.
I heave a watery sigh and pull away. “So maybe I’m not yet ready to let someone else crawl through the cracks,” I croak, swiping my eyes with my knuckles. “Not just yet.”
“This is going to sound cheesy too, but just give it time.”
I nod, throat tight. “Yeah.” I turn back to the muffin batter, grip the solid wooden spoon, and continue mixing. “I just need to keep busy.”
Pen looks at me doubtfully. “Busy?”
“Yeah. I have a business to open. That oughta help take my mind—” But I can’t even get through the thoughts before a fresh wave of tears attempts an assault. I shake my head and refuse to let them fall. Really, yesterday was the day for tears. Today is the day for picking up the pieces and forging ahead.
I clear my throat hard.
“I don’t have any clients today. I’m reaching out to two contractors to get bids for the conversion work,” I say, tilting my chin in the direction of the dining room. I sniff and stand straighter, the tasks ahead already demanding my attention and energy. “And I’m going to let Tessa know that I’ll be leaving at the end of the year.”
Pen’s look of delighted surprise gives me the bolster I need. “Good for you.”
My smile is bittersweet because I am proud of myself. Truly, I am. This is a big step. And giving my notice means that I’m really ready to take this chance on myself. And maybe this heartbreak is just the kick in the pants I needed to inspire me to pull the trigger.
I thought about it all night. It was like after I cried for hours yesterday, I felt like I’d shed something. Something that was holding me back. Maybe it was fear of failure. And once I shed that, what was left behind was the drive to begin something new.
So launching my business is what’s on the agenda today. And it’s just the thing to keep me busy.
“I’ve got to file for my LLC, register with the Department of Revenue, and apply for an EIN.”
Pen wrinkles her nose. “Boring.”
I shrug. It might be boring, but I can handle that.
I take out two muffin tins and line each with cupcake wrappers. That way, Nina, Livy, and Lark can take muffins on the go today if they need to.
Yes, the thought of feeding Lark still pierces my heart. I meant what I said to Pen. I don’t blame him. I’m not mad at him.
I still love him.
I shake off the thought and start spooning batter into each paper form. But I feel Pen’s eyes on me. She’s still staring even when I fill the first row.
“What?” I shoot her an impatient stare.
She leans her hip against the counter and crosses her arms again, studying me. “So you’re okay?”
I frown. “I’ll manage… Why?”
It’s the way she’s looking at me that makes me ask.
Pen bites her bottom lip. “Because we might have a problem.”
I don’t like the feeling her look stirs in my gut. “What kind of problem?”
She hesitates, seeming to assess me one more time, as if testing if I can handle the weight of a heavy load. My abs tighten in anticipation of a blow.
“Something weird happened Saturday night… after you and L—after you left.”
“What happened?” Did the “bonfire” get out of hand? I left the house yesterday with Maisy, but I never drove past the front yard. Is the grass scorched? Is there property damage?
But Pen’s frown tells me it’s something more worrisome than that. “Around midnight—after we did the releasing ceremony that you missed,” Pen adds with only a touch of resentment in her tone, “Tyler and Nina brought our chairs inside, and Livy and I stayed out to make sure the fire died down.”
