Page 78 of Not So Fast
Xander finished his tea and returned to his house, but he felt nothing but restless. His first instinct after his talkwith his dad was to text Mia, then maybe have a chat over the phone. But he’d promised to give her space, and he intended to keep his word. Even when not having her to talk to made him feel as uncertain and unsettled as he’d felt before he met her.
There was one quasi-substitute, and that was listening to her podcast. At least he could hear her voice. He had to admit he was surprised she’d uploaded a new episode. She hadn’t been home long. Turned out it was a quick listen—more like a memo than an episode. He listened twice. There was entirely too much apologizing and backpedaling for his liking, all because of him. It wasn’t right that strangers felt entitled to chime in on the state of her personal life. But when your livelihood was a public-facing endeavor and fully reliant on the opinion of anyone who chose to support you, that was where you landed, whether you liked it or not.
He really hoped people would show up for her event on Wednesday. He didn’t want to see her fail. More than anything, he wanted to see her succeed. In everything.
Reflect on a past hardship. How would you handle it differently today?
I look back at my long string of professional false starts and just see a mess. That was all one giant hardship. Now I’m trying to force myself to see it from a different point of view. I can’t stop thinking about what Xander said in the car. Was I really that astute? That I knew those things weren’t right for me? I’m not sure. It’s hard when you’ve had it framed for years as a shortcoming. Maybe it was just part of my journey.
* * *
The price Xander paid for his and Mia’s media snafu ended up being almost nothing. The trolls had some disparaging things to say about his choice of Mia as a person to be romantic with, but that was to be expected. She could be the most beautiful woman in the world andsomebodywould have something to say about it. Otherwise, he hadn’t received any flak from his sponsors as near as she could tell. She’d have to ask him on Thursday, when they would finally talk, but the word on the street was that his watch sponsor was over the moon about the primo placement of his wrist in the photos where he was clutching Mia’s neck during their kiss. Even in the middle of a firestorm, Xander managed somehow to come out on top.
Mia really wanted to text him and give him shit about it, but he was right. She needed to sort out her life on her own. After one night in her own bed and some time with her journal, she was only slightly seeing things more clearly. So she set her sights on her mom and dinner.
Mia cooked for several hours, slow roasting a pork butt in the oven with root vegetables and apples. She’d been intentional with her choice of recipe. She wanted her apartment smelling just as good as Xander’s parents’ house the night she and Xander ate dinner there. That was the night she’d realized there was a family feeling missing from her life, and she wanted that back with her mom. If she and her aunt couldn’t fix things, that was fine. But Mia and her mother? There was no reason they couldn’t reclaim their closeness.
A few minutes before six, there was a knock at Mia’s door. She already knew it was her mom, who was nothing less than perfectly punctual. Mia opened the door. “Mom, hi.”
“I couldn’t decide on a wine, partly because I didn’t know what you were going to fix, so I brought pinot grigio and a Grüner Veltliner.” She set her purse down on the kitchen counter. “The young man who was working at the wine shop was very good-looking and seemed quite knowledgeable. He’s studying to become a sommelier. Maybe I could introduce you two?”
“Mom. I’m already in a relationship with Xander. Bishop. The guy I was kissing on the front page of that British tabloid?” Mia could hardly believe she’d just uttered those words. “I don’t need you to set me up with some random guy from the wine shop.”
“If we’re going to talk about this, I’m going to need to open one of these bottles.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’m on it.” Mia went into the kitchen and grabbed two wineglasses, twisted the screw-top cap and gave them each a generous pour. “Here you go.” She presented a glass to her mom.
“Okay. So tell me everything.”
Mia carried the bottle into the living room, put it within easy reach, then she and her mom took seats at opposite ends of the couch. It would’ve been easy—effortless, really—for Mia to overthink the answer she was about to give her mom about her time with Xander, but she really was done with second-guessing herself. So she let it all out, unfiltered. Of course, she left out the sex stuff, which made it more of a short story than a lengthy tale, but it was by and large exactly what had happened while she’d been in England and Austria.
“And that’s how your daughter ends up on the front page of a British tabloid.”
Her mom reached for the wine bottle to give herself a refill. When she sat back, she shook her head and Mia braced herself for a lecture. “You and I are so alike. This is why you should be a journalist.”
Mia narrowed her sights on her mom. “Um… I’m trying to connect the dots here. How do you come to that conclusion from the story I just told you? And we’ve been through this. I don’t think that’s for me.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, honey. I’m not telling you to get a job. I’m done having that argument with you.”
Well, that much was a huge relief.
“What I’m saying is that your instincts are strong,” her mom continued. “You were right to be hesitant to get involved with Xander. And you were right to want to keep it a secret once you did.”
“If I was so right, then why did everything go wrong?” Mia was desperate for answers since her mom was looking at this from a very different perspective.
“It didn’t. You were sure it would be a disaster if anyone found out and you were right. It went exactly as you thought it would.”
Well, shit. That was of zero comfort. “You know I love to be right. This time, not so much.”
Her mom scooted closer to the edge of the sofa cushion and turned to Mia. “Honey, I only ever give you a hard time because the world should be your oyster. You can do anything you want. So, the question is what do you want to do?”
“That has always been the question, hasn’t it? That’s all anyone is asking me these days.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
Normally, the answer to that would beno. But everythingwas upside down right now, so Mia figured she had nothing to lose. “Yes.”
“I think you want everything to make sense. And life isn’t like that. You pick a path and you work hard and you hope for the best. But if something can go wrong, it will. I guarantee you that. Almost nothing in your life will happen the way you think it will.”
