Page 79 of Not So Fast
“I think that makes it harder to make a decision.”
“Of course it does. But look at it this way. You’ve made the wrong decision before and you’re still here. So, no matter what you decide you want, you’ll survive. You’ll make it through.”
Wow. Her mom was dropping truth bombs like nobody’s business. “This sounds a little weird coming from the person who said I shouldn’t go to Italy because I might get murdered.”
Her mom twisted her lips. “I think I’ve been consuming too much true crime lately.”
“Let me guess.Dateline?The podcast?”
Her mom leaned forward and touched Mia’s arm. “It’s like candy. I can’t stop.”
“I know. I get it.”
They both laughed for a moment, then quiet fell between them and Mia decided this was as good a time as any to broach the most difficult subject between them.
“Mom, is there any hope for you and Aunt Judy reconciling? Because it would mean a lot to me if you mended things.”
Her mom took a long drink of wine. “I’m not sure. Everything that happened between us was so long ago. In some ways I wonder if simply too much time has passed.”
“Can you tell me what happened?”
The heaviest sigh Mia had ever heard escaped her mother’s lips. “A lot of it comes down to you, unfortunately.”
“Me?” Mia was shocked to hear the answer.
Her mom nodded silently. “After your father left, I was suddenly a single mom who was trying to have a career and raise a daughter. I needed help, so I asked her to play a bigger part in your life. But she didn’t want the responsibility. She wanted to breeze into town and feed you chocolate ice cream for dinner and get you hooked on Formula One, then leave and forget to call me back for a month. Eventually, I just got sick of it.” Her mother picked at a spot on Mia’s couch. “That wasn’t a one-time thing. It happened over the course of a few years. She kept telling me I didn’t need a man and I should be strong. I should do it all on my own. But the reality was that being a single mom was hard. I was trying to establish my career, not so much out of fulfilling hopes and dreams, but mostly so I could put food on the table and so you could have things like shoes.”
“Mom, why did you never tell me this? I would’ve understood. Completely.”
“Because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want you to know that I ever questioned being capable of raising you on my own. That is not something a mom wants to tell her child.”
Mia knew her mom had made a lot of sacrifices for her, but she hadn’t ever thought about them quite like that. That was another parallel between Mia and Xander—they both were lucky enough to have parents who were willing to go the extra mile for their kid.
“Thank you, Mom. For everything you did.”
“It’s okay. It’s what a mom does. But Judy wants to breeze in and be the fun aunt. And I guess that morning of your Monaco party, I just saw a repeat of the past.” She looked Mia in the eye. “For the record, I don’t hate Formula One. It just brings upbad memories. Maybe you can teach me about it. That would be nice. Maybe it could be something you and I share, too.”
“That would be amazing. I would love that. So much.” Mia felt a bit like she’d been hiding under clouds and was finally seeing a ray of sunshine. “Now that I know more of the backstory, do you think that could pave the way for you and Aunt Judy to spend some time together?”
“What did you have in mind, exactly?”
Mia scooted a little closer on the couch. “Christmas? I have the best memories of you two on Christmas Eve.”
Her mom smiled. “We did have fun, didn’t we? Your dad never liked Christmas much. After he left, Judy and I could revel in it as much as we wanted. And spoil you, of course. For a few years, at least. We both always loved to do that.”
“I just remember feeling so loved and like I was a part of something warm and wonderful. I would love if we could do that again. But only if you’re up for it. I don’t want you to think you aren’t enough family for me. Because you are.”
A tiny tear leaked from the corner of her mom’s eye. “For you, I will make Christmas amazing this year. And we will invite my sister and see how it goes. Does that work?”
Mia was getting misty-eyed, too. “That’s all I could ever ask for.”
“Great. Good.” Her mom pressed her lips together tightly, then smiled. “You know, you haven’t told me how you feel about Xander. Is it serious?”
“I love him.”
“Well, that’s about as serious as it gets.”
“I love him a lot. But I still worry that I don’t really fit into his world.”
