Page 43 of Rush
"I don't want someone else. I want you."
"You shouldn't."
"Too bad. I do anyway."
We're so close now I can feel his heart pounding against my hand, can feel the tension in his body.
He wants this. I know he does.
But he's still fighting it.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask.
"Doing what?"
"Protecting me from you."
"Because someone has to."
"I don't need protecting, not from you."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't. I'm not fragile, Rush. I'm Diesel's daughter. I grew up around violence and danger and men who think they're monsters."
"I am a monster."
"Bullshit. You're a man who's made mistakes, and you're so afraid of repeating them that you won't let yourself feel anything."
His hand tightens on my hip. "You're going to get hurt."
"Maybe. But that's my choice to make, not yours."
"Everly—"
"Stop protecting me from you. I don't want that. I want you to stop running, I want you to admit you want this, and I want you to kiss me without pulling away."
"I can't."
"Yes, you can."
"No, I can't, because if I kiss you I'm going to want more, and more won't be enough, and then what? What happens when I lose control?"
"You won't."
"How do you know?"
"Because you haven't yet, because every time you've gotten close you've stopped. That's control, Rush. That's you being in control."
He closes his eyes and I can see him struggling, can see the war between what he wants and what he thinks he should do.
"I'm going to hurt you," he says finally.
"Maybe, but I'd rather get hurt trying than walk away wondering what if."
"That's stupid."
"Probably, but I don't care."
