Page 44 of Rush
His thumb brushes across my lip again and my breath catches. The touch is gentle but it feels like fire.
"You're impossible," he says.
"You're infuriating."
We stand like that, breathing together, his forehead against mine.
Then he pulls back and steps away, and the loss of contact makes me cold.
"I can't do this," he says.
Anger hits fast and sharp. "You're a coward."
"I know."
"You want me but you're too scared to do anything about it."
"I know."
"Then why are you still here? Why do you keep following me, keep protecting me, keep touching me, if you're not going to do anything about it?"
"Because I can't seem to stay away."
"Then stop staying away, stop fighting this, and just take what you want."
"It's not that simple."
"It is that simple. You're just making it complicated."
He runs his hand through his hair and I can see him struggling, can see how much this is costing him.
But I'm done making this easy.
"You know what, fuck this," I say. "I told you I'm not chasing you and I meant it. Either you want me or you don't, but I'm not going to keep putting myself out there just for you to push me away."
"Everly—"
"No, I'm done. You figure out what you want, and when you do you know where to find me. But I'm not doing this anymore."
I turn to walk away and he grabs my wrist, the same way he did Wednesday night.
I stop but I don't turn around.
"Don't go," he says.
"Give me a reason to stay."
He's quiet for a long time, then he lets go of my wrist. "I can't."
"Then I'm going."
I walk away, and this time he doesn't stop me. I can feel him watching but I don't look back.
I get to my car and my hands are shaking—not from fear, from anger and frustration and want.
I almost had him. I was so close.
But he pulled back again, and I'm done chasing.
