Page 33 of Lolli-Gag
“What fucking guys, Lolli?”he spits, getting pissed off at me for asking more questions.
“You know damn well who I’m talking about.”
“I don’t. It was just a dream. Go to sleep,”he orders, and I huff.
“I just—”
“Go to sleep!”he growls as my eyes begin to get heavy and darkness pulls me under, taking me back into the nightmare I just woke up from.
Missing Pieces
Lolli-Gag
The buzzing of the doors unlocking drag me out of my sleep. Not gently though. It fucking claws through my skull until I feel it inside my bones.
“Breakfast!” a voice hums through the loudspeakers, but I don’t move. For a second—just one—I wait. For alarms, for chaos, for the echo of last night still crawling through the walls, but nothing—just silence.
“…Jethro?” I call out.
“You’re late,”he mutters, and I sit up fast. My chest tightens as I look around the room and everything seems normal. Bed. Desk. Cracks in the ceiling exactly where they should be. No blood, no noise. I swing my legs over the side, letting my feet hit the cold floor.
“Did it happen?” I whisper, but I’m greeted with more silence.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes,” I say, my voice coming out sharper than I meant it to. But it does. It has too. I move to the mirror. My reflection staringback.Bare. With eyes sunken in. I don’t like her like that. Too exposed. Too real.My fingers shake as I grab the makeup. White first. Always white. I smear it across my face, covering all my scars.Hide and erase.Then to red. My smile is too wide—too sharp. Then black over the eyes.Better. Now I look like me. Now I feel like something close to whole.
“You’re cracking,”Jethro mutters.
“I’m not.”
“You are,”
I press harder, blend, smear. Fix. “I said I’m not.”
The guard yells again.Louder. Closer.I turn. “Fine,” I growl, because I need to see them. That’s it. That’s all this is. I just need to see them then everything will—make sense.
Getting up from the chair, I walk out of my room and into the hallway.It’s wrong. Again. Too clean. Too calm.Patients shuffle. Mutter and laugh to themselves.
“Eat your hands!”
“Eat your hands!”
“Eat your hands!”
Ellie never gives up. That’s really all she says besides, “Fuck your face with a rusty spoon.” I giggle. Walking faster, I ignore the looks—the whispers.
“They’re not here,”Jethro says.
“They are.”
“No!”
“They have to be,” I say as my steps quicken. The cafeteria doors come into view and my heart starts pounding.There. They’ll be there. They always are.I push inside as the noise hits. Metal trays. Voices. Movement. I scan the room—left, right, center. Again. Nothing. My smile twitches. “…no.” I move deeper, faster now. “They’re here,” I whisper, they have to be. Jagger—he’d be too loud. Killian—watching everything. Lucifer—smiling like he knows something no one else does. Vinny—quiet, always quiet.
I don’t see them. Anywhere. “They moved tables?” I say.
“They’re not here,”he says, and I shake my head.
