Page 32 of Lolli-Gag
“No! No! No!” I scream as the blade of the knife slides into me and he twists, digging into my core, shoving the cold metal as far as it can go. He twists again as I feel my insides rip apart, but he keeps inching higher and higher, like he’s trying to reach something so far away. I try to scream but Lucifer's hand presses flat against my sternum, pinning me with such forceas a laugh cuts through the room. Sweat pours down my face.Familiar. Wrong.My head jerks and Vinny holds it in place, but I turn my eyes, looking out of my peripherals the best that I can and, sitting in the corner, is my mother.Watching.Her smile stretching too wide. Hair hanging in greasy strands, but those eyes shine brightly—too alive for my liking.
“There you are,” she coos.
“No! Stop. Get away. All of you get the fuck away,” I rasp but I can’t get all the words out. Lucifer’s hand is taking all my air. My stomach drops as she steps closer, tilting her head. Her fingers glide along my arm, sending goosebumps over my slick skin. Killian digs the knife deeper into me, causing my body to convulse against the metal table. My insides shred until blood rushes out of my core and pours onto the floor. Splashing sounds echo through the room, and all I want to do is scream.
“I always knew you’d end up back here,” she says as I try to shake my head but Vinny’s hold anchors me into place. The pressure builds, not just inside my body, but in my head too.
“I’m not—”
“You are,” she sings, her voice curling around me like smoke. “You’ve always been broken.” My chest tightens at her words.
“I’m fixing her. I’m removing the problem.” Killian grins.
“You tried to leave,” she continues, taking a step closer. “But you always come back to me,”
“No!” I thrash, feeling the burn between my legs before smelling rubberbands and melting flesh. The hands don’t move, they tighten, holding me down harder. The lights above me flicker and my vision blurs.
“See?” She smiles. “They’re fixing you.” Killian's hand applies pressure, causing my stomach to bottom out. My mind whirls and I feel dizzy.
“I promise, Canvas. I’m making you better,” he says, and my breath shatters as the room closes in, causing the lights to get brighter. I can’t fucking breathe.
“I said stop!”
Jagger's breath brushes my ear. “Don’t fight it,” he says as my chest jerks and my body strains again, but nothing moves. I feel it—I’m slipping. The moment where something inside me starts to give—break. My mother laughs right beside me.
“You always were weak,” she sings.
“You’ll feel better after this,” Lucifer says.
“You don’t have a choice,” Vinny follows.
“We can fix you,” Killian continues as their voices layer and overlap.
“Stop fighting,” Jagger yells as everything twists together until I can’t tell who’s speaking anymore. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I just fucking can’t—
“ENOUGH! WAKE UP!”Jethro roars, and the world cracks, fracturing everything. But just as the ceiling splits, I see myself—my younger self—floating above me. She smiles down at me, her face horrendous with scars and burns but her eyes turn yellow and her teeth sharpen as her tongue snakes out long and thick, licking my face. I feel my skin burn like acid, melting my flesh down to the bone. I thrash, trying to get away. It hurts. It burns. Make it stop. Jethro make it fucking stop!
“See, so much better now,” Killian praises as the walls bend and the hands—disappear. I jolt awake and bolt upright as air slams into my lungs, causing my chest to heave. Too fast—too hard. The room is different. Small. Dark. My room. My real room. No straps, no hands. I look around and see nothing. No one. Not Jagger. Not Killian. Not Lucifer or Vinny. Just me. Alone.
My fingers dig into my mattress as my breathing slows. “…Jethro?” I whisper while waiting for him.
“I told you to wake up,”he huffs, and I let out a breath.
“You left me,” I say, but he climbs into the bed next to me, engulfing me with his coldness. I sigh, letting the feeling of him cool down my overheated skin.
“No, I will never leave you,”he says, and I rest my head onto the pillow. Eyes still open, watching the ceiling and counting the cracks. I roll over and sigh again.
“What is it?”he asks, and I suck in a breath.
“Did they make it out? Are they okay?” I ask, but he waits a beat before answering.
“Who?”
“The guys.”
“What guys? Go back to sleep, I’ll give you something better to dream about,”he says, but I can’t, I need to fucking know they are all okay.
“Jethro, where are they?” I ask again, and this time, he turns to face me, his red eyes glowing brightly in the dark.
