Page 6 of Searching for Beautiful
I’m so relieved when he says it. But Dad is wrong. So wrong.
It’s only just beginning.
Chapter Four
Before
“You seem happier. ” Ellie gives me a thumbs-up.
Happy. It’s been such a foreign word lately. But I do feel…happier. I’m not there yet. It doesn’t seem right to be happy without Mom, but I’m getting closer, because of Jason and how he makes me feel. Like I’m normal, when I haven’t been for so long. “I’m trying. ” I shrug.
Diana lays her hand on my shoulder. “It’s good to see. ”
“Thanks. ”
“What time are the boys getting here?” Ellie asks.
My heart drops at that. “What? You guys didn’t tell me they were coming with us. ” It’s okay when Todd and Kevin are with us. They’re Ellie’s and Diana’s boyfriends, but where they are, Ian almost always is. My ex-boyfriend isn’t too happy to be around me anymore. I’m pretty sure he hates me, though I don’t fully get why. I wasn’t the one to dump him after he lost his mom.
“They always come, Brynn. I figured you knew they’d hang out with us. ” Diana moves to the mirror and puts on her lip gloss.
I figured they would realize it was awkward. “Maybe I shouldn’t go. ”
“What?” Diana asks. “No, we miss hanging out with you. ”
“We can tell them not to come over,” Ellie adds.
The truth is, I know they would. But I know they don’t want to. They want to hang out with their boyfriends and they want things to be the way they used to be. I do, too, but I’m not sure how to get there.
“No, no. It’s fine. ” It wouldn’t be fair to make them cancel. Before anyone else can speak, Ellie’s bedroom door pushes open and the boys come in, laughing.
“Hey. ” Kevin waves at me.
“Hi,” Todd says before each of them go to say hello to their girlfriends. Ian pushes his way past me without a word. Nerves kick up my heart rate.
“What time does the movie start?” Ian collapses onto Ellie’s bed.
Diana tells him and then he says, “Cool. I need to text my girl to tell her when to meet us. ”
Even though I try to stop myself, I still whip my head his way. Ian has a girlfriend? Not that it matters. I mean, I have Jason. Still, I didn’t know.
“Um, thanks for telling us you were bringing her. ” Ellie gives me an I’m sorry look.
“I didn’t know I had to,” Ian tosses back at her.
Todd and Kevin try to pretend they aren’t paying attention, but Diana doesn’t. “Why don’t you invite your new boyfriend, Brynn? That way we could meet him and it’ll be all couples. ”
My stomach drops somewhere near my feet. All I can do is wonder what Mom would do, what she would say. She always had the answers. Without her I teeter between decisions, unsure all the time.
“You really do have a boyfriend, right, Brynn?” Ian laughs.
“Of course she does. ” Ellie steps closer. I don’t miss the look she gives Diana. These girls have been my best friends my whole life, yet they don’t believe Jason is real, either. My cheeks heat and I dart my eyes away.
“I wouldn’t lie about having a boyfriend. That’s stupid. ”
“We’d love to meet him,” Diana says. I shake my head.
“So he’s embarrassed to be seen with you?” Ian sneers.
