Page 47 of Searching for Beautiful
“We’re out of here, too,” Kevin adds. “Later, Christian. Later, Brynn. ” Ian looks at him, his jaw tight, and Kevin just shrugs.
“You ready to get out of here, Bryntastic?” Christian asks while everyone is still at the window. I give him a nod, he starts his car, and we pull away. “Want to tell me why things are so weird with you guys?”
Without thinking, I reach over and grab a few gummy bears from the bag in between us. “No. ” I feel bad for my reply, but it’s true. I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to talk about any of it with anyone.
“I’m crushed. I thought we were friends? I give you my gummy bears. Drive you to school, and this is the thanks I get?” I look over at him, surprised, and then his eyes find mine. “Relax—I’m giving you shit. Kind of…”
Something about the way he says it—not probing, not questioning, just curious—makes me open my mouth and speak. “It has to do with what I told you at lunch. They think I lied to them. That’s what Diana and Ellie say. We were close. I didn’t lie, but I…I guess I wasn’t completely honest, either. Plus, I sort of pushed them away when Mom died. ” Still, I wish for the benefit of the doubt. Wish that they would believe me, or at least forgive me. Have I asked?
“Girls are seriously screwed up. ”
“What?”
“I’m not trying to be a jerk, but it’s true. So you lied—”
“I didn’t!”
He shrugs and grabs a bear. “Who cares? Even if you did, why do they drag it on forever? Why does everything have to be such a big deal? Seriously, get over it already. No offense, but girls are your own worst enemies. You don’t even have to worry about guys screwing you over because you do it to each other. ”
It’s not something I haven’t thought before, but it also annoys me, too. It’s one thing for a girl to think that, but different when it’s a guy. “That’s totally sexist. ”
“No it’s not. I’m serious. I can’t tell you how much I hear in the hallways at school. Someone’s always talking shit about someone else. ‘Don’t tell so and so I said this, but…’ Talking about what their best friend is wearing or whatever, and then they’re all smiling and hugging two minutes later. That’s the kind of stuff my sister used to deal with, except they said a lot to her face. I don’t get it. If Todd lied to me about something, I’d tell him he’s a douche and get over it, punch him in the nose and get over it, or I wouldn’t care and I’d get over it. I can promise you I wouldn’t be whispering in the hallway and shooting daggers out of my eyes and making other people’s lives hell. ”
Words won’t find their way into my mouth. This is the most worked up I’ve seen Christian except for when he got angry at the center. There’s something in his eyes, something a little harder—more serious than I usually see from him.
I wait for him to continue but he doesn’t. Christian keeps his eyes on the road, his jaw locked.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Not right now, Brynn. ”
I turn my eyes to face forward, quiet for the rest of the ride. Questions simmer inside me but never boil over. The air in the car is thick the rest of the way home. Christian doesn’t say a word and I don’t either. It’s not until we pull into his driveway that he looks my way. “I didn’t mean to go all postal. ”
My shoulders lift in a shrug. “All you did was pout. You’re forgiven for that. ”
“What? I didn’t pout. ”
Smiling at him, I reply, “Yeah, you kind of did. But I’ve pouted before, too, so we’ll forget it ever happened. ”
“It just pisses me off. ” Christian sighs. “My family went through a lot. Especially my sister. I don’t get why people are such assholes. ”
“At least you said people this time and not girls. ”
“No, not just girls, but you have to admit, chica, girls are loco. ”
I open my mouth, and laugh so hard I can’t get any words out. So
I nod my head, hoping he knows I agree.
“What are you gonna do today?” Christian asks when we finally stop laughing.
“Ugh. I have so much homework. ”
“Yeah, me too, so I’ll just pretend I don’t have any. ”
“What? Oh my God. You can’t do that. ”
Christian grins and I wonder if anyone in the world does it as much as he does. Just a few minutes ago he was angry, but he managed to work himself through it so quickly. “Actually, I can. It’s pretty easy. You can try it, too, if you want. Hell, even leave your backpack in my car. Out of sight, out of mind. ”
