Page 182 of The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
All I can think about is how shiny it makes his penis.
“If your penis was a necklace, I would wear it with pride.”
“Rosie.” Henry wasn’t happy with my immaturity.
“If it was at Zale’s, I would get the protection warranty.”
“You’re not funny.”
I laughed to myself and threw the finger guns at Sir Licks-a-Lot, who was now looking in on us. “He thinks I’m funny.” The demon cat was sitting in the doorway, looking at us with his mouth half open. He did that sometimes, and I didn’t know why, but right about now, I took it as silent laughter from my jokes.
Henry couldn’t be any more annoyed with me as he continued to hold his cock up. “No one thinks you’re funny.”
“I would stroke that puppy if I were you. What happens when you go flaccid? Will the bling sink into your urinary tract? That can’t be good. Try pinching it out.”
“Excuse me? Pinch it out? Are you out of your damn mind? I’m not pinching my dick.”
I closed my index finger and thumb together, making a lobster claw motion at him. “Just pinch the head, Henry. Squeeze the top and pop it right out of there.” I threw my pinchers at his face and he knocked them away. “Oh! Or I can get some tweezers—”
“No fucking tweezers. Sharp metal things are not coming near me, especially if you’re the one managing them.”I should be annoyed by that jab, but this is still far too amusing to me.
“That rules out Sir Licks-a-Lot’s claws then, huh?”
Henry shook his head. “I dick–dazzle myself and all of a sudden you become a comedian. Great.”
“I’m trying to be helpful. I thought the pinching thing was a good idea. Hmm . . .” I pressed my finger to my chin as I thought about another solution. “Maybe if you jump up and down while jiggling your dick, it will just fall out. You will have to point your penis at the ground though, let gravity do its thing. That’s what I did when I got that stupid bullet stuck in my vagina.”
“Stupid bullet? You don’t think it’s so stupid now when I use it on you.”
Cue the blush.
“Shut up and start jumping.”
Henry grumbled incoherent words I couldn’t make out, while he stood and got in position. He looked over his shoulder at me and said, “I would prefer if you didn’t watch me jiggle myself. I would like to keep some of my dignity after all this is said and done.”
“I won’t look,” I lied, a smirk barely remaining hidden.He gave me questioning gleam.
“Hand over eyes, missy.”
“Fine.” I covered my eyes with my hand, but kept a tiny sliver opened for a sneak peek of the dick-dazzle dance.
To my lucky stars, Henry started bouncing up and down, shaking his dick and talking to himself, telling the bling to fall out. The scene was all too familiar. Seeing it from an outsider’s perspective just about killed me. I couldn’t hold it back, I laughed out loud and fell to the floor, unable to control the movements of my body from pure, unadulterated joy.
Images of Henry’s tight butt bobbing up and down and his arms shaking his penis were engrained in my memory . . . forever.
“You weren’t supposed to look,” he yelled at me, penis still in hand but missing a certain glint.
I continued to laugh as I answered him and pointed at his junk. “I think you got it out.”
Faster than I could blink, Henry lifted his penis to look inside and then let out a sigh of relief when he bent down to the floor and held up the little gem that had been stuck in his pee hole.
“You little fucker.”
I laughed some more. I was being that person, and I didn’t care. It was just too funny. “Want to save it, maybe put it in an envelope and store it under your pillow for the penis fairy? You never know, he might leave you a pack of condoms if you’ve been a good boy.”
The bling was tossed at my head right before Henry pulled his sweats on. “You’re hysterical.” Sarcasm at its best. “Because you’re so funny, you can sit in here and laugh by yourself. I’m having my curry. And you can forget about getting any of my loving tonight. You’ve been cut off.”
“Hey,” I protested. “How is that fair? You would have laughed if that happened to me.”
