Page 59 of Finding Hayes
“Kate is a master manipulator. It took me a long time to see it. She knows how to get what she wants. She knows how to work people, work the system, and that can be dangerous.” I shook my head. “She never told me you came by the house that morning. She obviously listened to the message from you and deleted your voicemail and texts. She knew I was freaking out that I couldn’t find you. Nash and King even went out to talk to Abe that next day to figure out where you were. And she just sat there with me that whole day, not saying a word. Watching me call you and text you over and over. She’s the one who guessed that you musthave blocked me after you hadn’t responded to all the messages.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. Most people don’t see her for who she is.”
“You did.”
“Yeah, I like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character. That’s why I took it so hard when I thought you weren’t who I thought you were. Who I knew you were.” Her voice started to quake. “And my mom had completely stunned me by falling in love with another man and starting a new life without me and Dad. So, I doubted myself about everything and everyone.”
“It’s going to sound crazy, so take this for what it is,” I said, using the pad of my thumb to swipe away her tears.
“Tell me.”
“Losing you was tougher on me than finding Kate in bed with Lenny. She was my fiancée, so that was a bit alarming. After you left, I think I really changed a lot, in a way I can’t explain.”
“Try,” she whispered. “Because I changed, too, and it helps to know that I wasn’t alone.”
“Well, I wasn’t a stranger to people leaving, people letting me down. My father taking off and starting a new family taught me at a young age that I couldn’t trust people. My mother allowing a lot of bad shit to happen in our home meant that I could never trust her. My ride-or-die crew are my brothers, and I know they have my back. It’s a brotherhood that took me a long time to fully invest in and trust, and I do. I would walk through fire for any one of them. And Saylor, man, she’s just good to her core, and all I ever wanted to do was protect her from the shit going on around us. I would give my life for hers, and she knows it.” I paused and looked away for a few beats before looking back at Savannah. “But you, Shortcake, you were always different. You were a part of me in a way that I can’t even explain. I would do anything for you, but I also trusted that you would do anythingfor me. It went both ways. I leaned on you, I told you everything, shared my hopes and my fears, which I don’t usually do. So losing you—it hardened me in a lot of ways.”
“I get that. It was the same for me. I just put all my energy and focus into my father. Into the things that I could control. I tried hard to block out how much it hurt. You were my person, and I was really lost without you for a long time, Hayes. I grieved the loss of our friendship in the most painful way,” she said, over a sob.
I wrapped her up in my arms and kissed the top of her head.
“This is the thing about you and me, Sav. We may have spent those years apart, but we never lost this connection. It’s too strong. That’s why when the fake marriage idea came up, I didn’t hesitate. Because it’s you. I have no fucking desire to ever be married. I don’t want that life. I don’t want to care about anyone that way. I’m not looking for a fairy tale. But if there’s something that I could ever do for you—I wouldn’t think twice. P and C, right?”
She traced her thumb over the little green pea inked on my wrist before pressing her wrist against mine, our tattoos meeting as our skin touched. It’s something we used to do all the time. “Peas and carrots forever.”
“And there is no one on the planet I would ever agree to that ridiculous saying for or to getting this lame-ass green pea tattoo with, other than you.” I barked out a laugh. We’d gotten the tattoos on her fifteenth birthday at some back-alley tattoo shop that didn’t question our age, because Savannah thought a tattoo would make her look like a badass. But a tiny carrot on her wrist only got her grounded by her parents, and no one else seemed to notice.
But we always knew they were there.
A constant reminder of what we had in one another.
She chuckled. “I still think they are the coolest tattoos.”
“Well, clearly, I’d do anything for you, but there is nothing cool about these tattoos, Shortcake.”
Her lips turned up in the corners. “I’m glad we talked.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
“These are probably the most words you’ve ever used at one time.” Her voice was all tease.
I moved quickly, flipping her onto her back and tickling her. “You like giving me shit, don’t you?”
“It’s my wifely duty.” She laughed, and I held her gaze for a few beats. Damn, she had the most kissable lips I’d ever seen. Her tongue swiped out slowly along her bottom lip, and my dick sprung to life because he had a mind of his own. She quickly pushed me back and scrambled to her feet, readjusting her tank top back in place.
“Don’t get weird. I can’t control it, and you are my wife, right?” I laughed as I moved to sit back against the headboard.
“I finally don’t hate you. Let’s not complicate things.” She raised a brow and smiled at me.
“We’re newlyweds who sleep in separate rooms. I’d say things are already complicated.”
“Goodnight, husband.” She walked toward the door.
“Sweet dreams, wife.”
And I didn’t know why, but I felt the loss of her the minute she stepped out of the room.
sixteen
