I leaned forward, kept my voice low. “If you’re asking whether or not I like the idea of you bein’ naked beneath that very sexy dress, then yes, I definitely do. However, I gave the instruction to see if you’d follow it or not.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t?”
“I don’t make assumptions one way or another. I merely instruct as the situation permits and allow it to progress from there.”
“How did you become a Dominant?”
“I’d say it came naturally.”
“Was it recreational for you?” She tilted her head. “One of the papers I’ve read concluded that BDSM was deemed mostly recreational leisure as opposed to the expression of psychopathological processes.”
I considered that for a moment. “I guess it was recreational. Back in the very beginning.” I smirked. “I won’t deny that sex has always been appealing to me. At least since puberty, anyway. And sure, I went into it thinking mostly with my dick.”
“But that can be attributed to young adulthood,” she said with a smile. “As well as your lack of experience at the time.”
“True. I was pretty cocky back then, thinkin’ I knew everything.” I set my wineglass down. “Didn’t take long before a Dom took me aside and gave me a piece of his mind, informed me I had no clue what I was doin’ and until I figured it out, I had no business portrayin’ myself as a Dom.”
“Was he right?”
“Absolutely.”
Her eyes widened as though she hadn’t expected that response. “Did you stop?”
“No. I’d already had a small taste and the craving had built from there. I did, however, decide it was important to understand the lifestyle. Took some time and a lot of training, but I eventually felt as though I’d come into my own, finally found myself.”
Jamie nodded. “Being an alpha male and being a Dominant are two different things.”
“Correct. One’s a personality trait, the other a lifestyle.”
Her smile was brilliant. “Exactly. And you’re interested in living the lifestyle full-time?”
I picked up my glass again, swirled the liquid. “Not necessarily. I do admire the structure.”
“Are you looking for a serious relationship?” She shrugged one shoulder. “You know, for a full-time … pet?”
I raised my eyebrows, encouraging her to elaborate.
“Of course you’ll put me on the spot,” she said with a soft giggle. “You know Landon and Langston Moore, I presume.”
“I do.”
“They have Luci.”
I found it interesting how she said have and not are with. “They do.”
“And she’s their pet.”
“Is she?” I wanted to understand her observation on the subject.
“Technically, I guess she’s their submissive. But she’s called herself their pet. By choice, of course. And it’s a unique dynamic.” Jamie leaned back as the waiter delivered the dessert course. “But so is the one between Justin, Ben, and Addison.”
“Those are very different situations,” I pointed out.
“Yes. Landon and Langston are brothers, and they share Luci between them.”
“Okay.”
“And Justin, Ben, and Addison have an intimate relationship all the way around. Justin’s the alpha. Although Ben submits to Justin, he also dominates Addison.”
“What do you think about that?” I asked. “Justin and Ben having an intimate relationship?”
Jamie’s gaze never wavered from my face and I admired that about her. “It’s twofold. From a psychological perspective, I have a hard time wrapping my head around how it works. How a Dominant can submit to another Dominant.”
“You don’t believe there’s a paradoxical possibility that there can be submission within dominance?”
She cocked her head to the side as though considering this. “Well, in all fairness, it does seem contradictory.”
“Maybe.” Since I was currently battling that exact scenario, I didn’t have a decent argument, so I waited for her to continue.
“However, I do believe everyone has sexual needs and desires. It’s possible those can vary from situation to situation. So, yes, it’s feasible.” She picked up her fork, waved it over her plate. “Would I like to dig into their psyche to understand the dynamic? Sure. Like I said, I find it fascinating. The two men love one another and can offer each other something the female cannot. And the same goes for Addison. She gets something different from each man.”
“It’s not conventional.”
“Who says it should be?” she countered.
“A lot of people.” I wanted to ensure she knew that most people didn’t agree.
“Yes. Maybe. Those who are misinformed or lack information on the subject, maybe,” she agreed. “Those who haven’t had the opportunity to understand what drives a person.”
“Like your brother?”
Her eyes dropped to her plate. “Yes.”
I leaned forward, regarded her closely. “Jamie, you understand this lifestyle is frowned upon by a lot of people. They don’t understand all aspects of it.”
Her gaze lifted to mine. “True, they don’t. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
“I agree. However, you’ve been exposed to a group of people who aren’t shy about their needs and desires. I know your brother’s open about it, takes no shit from anyone. He can handle the pressure though. The question is, if it’s something you learn about yourself, are you willing to live the lifestyle? To be subjected to the scrutiny of those around you? I think that’s an avenue you’re not considering. Just because people are members of a BDSM club doesn’t mean they want their desires to be publicized. They go to Dichotomy because they feel safe there. They know they can express themselves without contempt from others.”
