“No. Not really. I mean, sure, he wants things his way, and he generally gets them. But Master … uh … Trent pays his employees very well. No one works for him for free.”
Clarissa’s eyebrows rose and I knew she’d caught my blunder.
“Are you thinking of him that way now? As your Master?” she asked.
I glanced down at the table. I wasn’t sure how to explain myself, nor whether I should or not. I didn’t know where this was going and I definitely didn’t want to appear overeager.
“It’s okay if you are,” she said softly, her hand reaching across the table and landing on mine.
As soon as our skin touched, my eyes shot up to her face. I felt something then. A spark, maybe? And not the static electricity sort, either. This was … different.
Was I supposed to feel something for Clarissa? Was it inappropriate for me to have a physical reaction to her?
“I get the feeling I’m going to make a shitty submissive,” I blurted.
Clarissa chuckled. “The question is: Do you want to submit?”
That was a good question. Did I? Or was this all part of my nefarious plan to get close to Master—Trent—whatever I was supposed to call him? Okay, so I didn’t have a nefarious plan. But still. Was this something I actually wanted? Could I really see myself submitting to this man? Or any man for that matter? Or a woman?
Shit.
I had no idea what I wanted. And even if I did, I had no idea how to go about getting it.
Clarissa leaned close. “The need to submit is not something everyone feels. Nor is the need to dominate. And I can tell you, Trent doesn’t play this part time. He would be asking a lot from you. So, if it isn’t something you want, you should make your feelings known.”
I decided to be honest. “I don’t even know what this is. Master—Trent refers to me as vanilla.” I lowered my voice. “And I don’t even know what that means.”
Clarissa’s laugh was so sweet I couldn’t seem to look away from her. “It means you’re not into kink.”
“Oh, I’m into kink,” I assured her, my chest automatically puffing up as though to prove myself.
“What kind?”
“Porn?”
She laughed, but for some reason, I didn’t get the feeling she was laughing at me.
“Okay,” she said with a grin, “so maybe not quite the kink I was referring to.”
“Okay, like what?”
“Well, I’m into a lot of things. I enjoy being tied up. I like impact play, such as floggers and whips, when used by experienced Dominants. But I’m not into pain or humiliation. Not the way a masochist is. I also enjoy giving up complete control and allowing my Dom to use me for his pleasure.”
“Use you? How?”
“Any way he wants. Which is the reason Trent wanted you to fill out a limit list.”
“Because it tells him what?”
“If you’ve selected something as a hard limit, he knows it isn’t something you’re willing to try. A good Dominant will respect that. Although it may not seem like it, the submissive holds the ultimate control. Without a submissive’s consent, the Dominant holds no power.”
I really needed to read BDSM for Dummies or something.
“What are your hard limits?” I asked. Sure, it seemed a rather personal question to ask, but I wanted to know.
Clarissa’s eyes dropped to her glass. “I don’t have any.”
Wow. She was brave. After all the shit I’d read on that list, not one of those things she was opposed to doing? That didn’t feel right.
Not that I would question her. Perhaps with time, those limits disappeared. I didn’t know. Figuring we’d ventured far enough off topic, I opted to turn us back around.
“But like I was saying, he’s really not a diva. His employees are extremely loyal to him.”
She didn’t seem surprised by the sudden shift, answering with, “As are you?”
“Of course.” Not wanting to give more information than Master would want me to, I changed the subject yet again. “So, what did you think of Chatter?”
Clarissa sighed as she relaxed against the seat and glanced out the window. “What they’re offering sounds far too good to be true.”
“How’s that?”
Her eyes slid over to me. “They’re basically giving me everything I’ve ever dreamed of. An office, employees, a job that will allow me to broaden my horizons and utilize my talents.”
“Why do I hear a but in there?”
She shook her head slightly. “I’m not sure there is one; however, I do have to give this some thought. They want me to relocate and I’m not sure that’s something I’m willing to do.”
“Do you have a lot of family in Dallas?”
“Yes. Not only my parents. A couple of aunts and uncles, along with a handful of cousins. Plus all my friends.”
“Are you close with your parents?”
“Relatively. I don’t see them all the time, but we do talk at least once a week. I talk to my mother more than my father. He remarried shortly after he divorced my mother. He’s got two kids with that wife.”
