While their eyes reflected interest, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what they were thinking. They appeared unfazed by my half-dressed state, while I was experiencing a strange buzzing sound in my head. It wasn’t fear; that much I knew for sure.
Finally, Master Parker crossed one ankle over his knee, took a deep breath, and addressed me. “I’m going to ask some personal questions.”
Not a question. A statement.
It didn’t surprise me. He certainly hadn’t asked my permission last night when he’d been probing me at dinner. “Okay.”
“How many Doms have you had?”
“Umm…” Was there a right or wrong answer here?
Master Parker evidently realized I didn’t know how to respond, because he continued. “Since you were old enough to sincerely understand Domination and submission, how many Doms have you had? And I’m not referring to the likes of Josh Tudor.”
“One,” I admitted.
“When did you join your first BDSM club?”
“I was twenty-three.” I didn’t bother to tell them that the first Dom I’d had—although nothing had ever happened between us—was when I was nineteen. I hadn’t had a real Dom of my own even after I’d ventured into the club scene.
“Are you looking for a Dominant, Addison?”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“Based on what I witnessed last night, it seems to me you’re looking for something. The question is whether or not you’re looking for a Dominant or if you’re merely looking for someone who can support you.”
I felt as though he’d slapped me. The verbal blow stole my breath and made my chest constrict. Tears—those blasted buggers—threatened and I had no idea why.
“I’m…” I swallowed back the anger that mixed with the hurt. “I’m not looking for anyone to take care of me.”
“Then explain your reasons for staying with a man like Josh.”
Master Parker pulled absolutely no punches.
Glancing over at Mr. Snowden, I noticed he was waiting for my response. I couldn’t help but get defensive. My eyes cut back to Master Parker. “You know absolutely nothing about me,” I snapped.
When I started to get up from my chair, Mr. Snowden shook his head and pointed toward the floor in front of my chair. “Kneel.”
“What?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself.”
Although my chest ached because I sensed they thought I was a pitiful excuse for a human being, it was made doubly worse because my body betrayed me as I slid down to the floor onto my knees. Thanks to years of training, I knew the exact position to get into. Butt on my heels, head down, eyes on the floor, my hands resting on my thighs, palms up.
“Thank you, precious,” Mr. Snowden said, his tone approving.
My chest inflated from the praise.
“Should I ask you to kneel,” Master Parker said, “I expect you’ll be naked and you’ll present yourself. Do you understand what it means to present?”
It meant he wanted me to put my hands behind my head, elbows out, chest thrust forward, knees spread wide, as though I was presenting myself for his inspection.
“Yes, Master Parker.” I carefully lifted my gaze to meet his. “Would you like me to do that now?”
“No, because it wasn’t my instruction. I’m merely clarifying.”
I felt as though I was in an alternate universe. One I’d spent more years than I could count dreaming about. This was exactly what I’d longed for but never managed to find.
“And I think you’ve clarified nicely what it is you’re looking for. You’re innately submissive, Addison. That much is clear.”
I didn’t respond because it wasn’t necessary. I was submissive, and I was seeking a Dom who could complete me, help me feel grounded in the ever-growing chaos surrounding me. However, I was not looking for a man to support me. I could take care of myself. I never asked anyone for anything and I wasn’t about to start now. I’d spent my entire life surviving, and at this point, that was my main objective.
“While you were in the shower, Ben and I had a discussion, and we’d like to present you with two options. Keep in mind, one is not dependent on the other.”
Okay, so maybe they were going to make some sense out of all this craziness.
“You’re a member of the club; therefore, we know you’re active in the lifestyle.”
I couldn’t tell if Master Parker was asking a question or merely stating the obvious, but I responded anyway. “Yes…I am. Very much so.”
“I asked Master Edge about you,” he continued. “He informed me that you’ve been a member of Dichotomy since inception, but you haven’t had a Dom until…well, I won’t acknowledge him as a Dom. But you know who I’m referring to.”
“Yes, Master Parker. That’s true.” I swallowed hard, my heart pounding intently against my sternum.
“And he also informed me that you haven’t engaged in sexual activities with the few Doms you’ve played with at the club.”
“No, Master Parker.”
