“It’s not something that usually comes up in conversation.”
She sounded just like Jordan.
“But you sent me for an interview with a bunch of Doms, Kristen. Don’t you think I should’ve at least had an idea of what I was walking into?”
She smiled sadly. “Are you really upset with me?”
Dropping my hands into my lap, I sat up straight. “Yes. No. Crap. I don’t know. I want to be, but no. I’m not. I just feel a little betrayed, that’s all. I feel like you pimped me out. Not like you thought I’d be good for the company, more so for them specifically.”
“That’s not…” Kristen frowned. “I swear, that wasn’t my intention, Luce. I really did think you’d be great at the job. Which you are. But I can understand why you feel that way. I don’t blame you either. Looking back on it now, I could’ve handled it better. But honestly, I did it because I thought…” Kristen sighed. “I thought it would be good for you.”
“You thought it would be good for me to submit to four men?”
Her eyes widened.
Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have told her that much.
The waitress chose that moment to saunter up, cheerfully asking for our food and drink order. We quickly rattled it off and when she was out of earshot, Kristen leaned in again.
“I did not know that all four of them would want to dominate you.”
“Well, they did.”
“And…?”
I shrugged. “And you were on the island. You can pretty much figure it out, right?”
“No. Hold on a minute. On the island and at TJ’s, I saw you with Landon and Langston. I didn’t know the five of you were playing together.”
“Well, technically, we’re not. We’re at an impasse at the moment.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means something happened and none of them seem to be happy about it. Ben and Justin are keeping themselves closed off. Landon’s being Landon, which I can’t figure out. And Langston…well, he’s the most forthcoming, but not in a good way. He seems to have taken charge, only to have backed off.”
The slow smile that pulled at Kristen’s mouth caught me off guard. “I probably should’ve known Langston would do that.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “Then again, I figured Landon would give him a run for his money. They usually co-top.”
“Yeah, well.” I dropped my gaze to my napkin in my lap. “It’s gotten complicated.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
Before I could process the words coming out of my mouth, I blurted, “What part do you play in this whole BDSM thing, anyway? If you’re a member of a club, then you’re into the lifestyle. And I saw you playing with your boyfriend. I assume this is a big part of your life?”
Kristen’s eyes slowly lifted to my face as though she was guarding her expression. “It is.” She seemed to consider me for a moment before she sat up straight. “Okay, yes. I’ll admit it. I’m into the lifestyle, probably more now than I used to be.”
“Do you know how much easier this would’ve been on me if you’d just told me that up front? I could have bombarded you with questions instead of fumbling around blindly trying to find my way.”
“I’m sorry, Luci. I really am. But if it’s any consolation, you were in good hands. I completely trust Landon and Langston.”
I did, too. Now.
Or I had.
Until yesterday afternoon.
But I wasn’t ready to think about that just yet. “I’ve read that some people only do this in the bedroom. Others live the lifestyle twenty-four seven. Which corner are you in?”
“They do. It varies, depending on the individuals. Tim and I don’t have a twenty-four-seven D/s relationship. However, we do actively engage in the community.”
From what I had gathered, Landon and Langston were looking for a full-time relationship on that level. I liked the idea because it offered me a sense of comfort that I hadn’t realized I’d been lacking in my life until they introduced me to it. Then again, Langston had been very up-front about the fact that he wasn’t looking for anything permanent with me. Landon, not so much.
“So, tell me why things are complicated. Aside from a little alpha posturing. Are you confused about what you want?”
I swallowed hard, considering what I should say. “I’m not confused,” I admitted. “But they seem to be. Because things have gone off track, they’ve given me three options.”
“And those are?”
“Take things back to the way they were in the beginning when we were just playing. The whole no-strings-attached thing. Or move in a new direction where I get to spend more time with each of them, as their part-time, temporary submissive.”
“And the last option?”
I couldn’t look at her. “Langston offered to be my master, but only temporary. Nothing serious. He specifically said he isn’t interested in collaring me. And he was finally forthcoming when he told me he was hoping I would reject that option.” I didn’t bother to tell her the last part came in a letter.
