Jordan nodded.
“No. It’s actually been…complicated.” I laughed. “Sorry, couldn’t come up with a better word.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “Tell me more.”
I proceeded to tell him about the rules that were implemented when they laid out the “job requirements” after I’d been there for a month. I also told him about the upset that took place when Master took the reins and changed everything. How Sir had sort of backed off. How Justin had forced me to make a difficult decision on how things would progress after that. I left out the part about Master informing me that he wasn’t interested in collaring me or taking me on permanently. I’d already come to terms with that and decided it was better left unspoken.
“I always suspected that Landon and Langston would end up with one submissive.”
I stared at him closely, hoping he would elaborate.
“I’m a member of the club also, so I’ve seen their interactions. To be honest, they haven’t been active in quite some time. Not until you came along anyway.”
That news did make me feel good.
“What about the secretaries before me?” I liked that I could be straightforward about my interest.
“I told you about the last few,” he said between bites of his sandwich. “It’s an unconventional request, I know, but it’s been their path for as long as I’ve worked for them. It wasn’t until you that I noticed things started to change.”
Because I had agreed to be their office play toy, I knew.
“And who’s your master now?” he questioned.
“I don’t know,” I told him, keeping my voice down. “I’m supposed to find out this afternoon.”
“Who do you want it to be?”
I wanted it to be Master, but only if I could spend more time with both him and Sir, but I didn’t say that. I hated that my heart was now dedicated. So, just to shake things up, I told him I was hoping it would be Justin.
“Oh, I can guarantee you’ll have fun with him.”
“Why’s that?”
“He’s very much into role playing.”
“Really?” That probably shouldn’t have surprised me considering the encounter we set up on the beach the last night we were on the island. Justin had seemed to morph right into his role. However, if I hadn’t experienced it for myself, I wouldn’t have believed it.
“Just keep an open mind and you’ll enjoy yourself.”
I stared down at my sandwich, shifting the paper but not eating.
“All right, kiddo, cough it up. I can tell something’s on your mind.”
When I looked up, I could see the concern in his eyes. “I think I’ve done something terrible.”
His eyes narrowed and his expression sobered.
I fidgeted with the paper until he put his hand over mine, stopping me.
Sighing, I decided I would tell him the truth. “I think I’ve fallen in love with Master and Sir.”
“Landon and Langston, I presume?”
“Yes.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
“It’s just…I know they don’t want that from me and I’m so worried that I’m going to mess up what we do have by wanting more. It’s not fair to them, but I can’t help how I feel.”
“Have you talked to them about it?”
I frowned. “Of course not. That’s not part of the deal.”
Jordan chuckled. “What? Talking?”
“No,” I said haughtily. “Falling in love.”
“And just to play devil’s advocate, how do you know that they aren’t in love with you, too?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have an answer to that. Well, I did, but it wasn’t one I was ready to divulge.
“Rules are meant to be broken, gorgeous. It happens all the time. And just because some people set out to handle things a certain way doesn’t mean it’ll always work out. But one thing I know for a fact, without talking to them, nothing will get resolved.”
“I know.”
I did know.
Forcing a smile, I sighed heavily. “I’m going to spend the next two weeks with whomever I belong to and I’m going to give him my all. I’m not ready to admit my feelings for anyone, and I know without a doubt, none of them are ready to hear it.”
“Or so you think.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, just because you believe something to be true doesn’t mean something else won’t happen. What happens if you fall in love with Justin? Or Ben? What then? Will you still be in love with Landon and Langston?”
I dropped my head into my hands. This seemed to be getting so complicated.
Jordan chuckled, then tucked his finger under my chin and forced me to look at him.
“Enjoy yourself. Go into this thing with your eyes wide open. And if your new master asks you questions, be honest. He may already know how you feel and it may not bother him. Or he could be trying to win you for himself. You never know until you talk it out.”
Oddly enough, Jordan had become my best friend in the few short months I’d known him. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
