“This is all new for me. Before I came to work for the firm, I had very little experience when it came to…sex. Much less when it came to my own desires. I’ve been surprised by what I’m discovering about myself. And I’ll admit, I’m led by my emotions. It’s who I am. Things have been moving quickly and it wasn’t until I was asked to make a choice that I had time to step back and look at it all rationally. I’m glad I did, and believe it or not, the decision was easier than I thought it would be.”
I paused, gathering my thoughts. Part of me expected him to say something, but he remained silent.
“I didn’t choose option one because I didn’t want this to be superficial. I’m not the type to go back to the beginning because it seems pointless. And no, I’m not expecting anything from any of you. I know you’re not offering anything more than to train me and to teach me more about this lifestyle. For that, I’m grateful.”
He looked as though he wanted to say something, but he held back, so I continued.
“I didn’t choose option three for two reasons. First, I know Master doesn’t want me. Not the way that I want to be wanted. But that wasn’t my main reason for discarding that option.”
Sir’s eyes narrowed on my face, as though he was hanging on my every word.
My words came out raspy with emotion when I admitted my true reason for not choosing that option. “I decided to go with option two because…” I held his stare, feeling my heart race. “Because I wanted more time with you.” I shook my head. “I know that sounds like I’m professing my love, but I’m not. I understand what this is. But that hasn’t stopped me from developing feelings. And I have. For both you and…Langston. Maybe it’s wrong, but I want both of you. Not one without the other. I don’t have any expectations, so please don’t think that. I just thought you deserved to know the truth.”
The silence nearly choked me, but Sir didn’t speak and I didn’t feel the need to fill the void. He now knew how I felt and it was up to him to do whatever he thought was necessary with that information.
Time seemed to stand still and I let my gaze drop, my heart pounding against my ribs. I felt something for this man. I couldn’t deny that. I also felt something for Master. I knew going into this that my time with either of them was going to be the most difficult. Although I looked forward to spending time with Ben and Justin, I knew that I wouldn’t develop the level of feelings for them that I had for Master and Sir.
When Sir’s hand curved over my head and he pulled me closer, I rested my cheek on his thigh. He brushed my hair back from my face, but he didn’t say anything. We sat like that for what felt like a really long time.
“Thank you for sharing that with me, pet,” he said roughly. “It means more than you know.”
“You’re welcome, Sir,” I whispered, not moving.
I was content to remain right there, just like we were, for as long as he would have me.
Thirty-Three
AFTER CONFESSING MY FEELINGS TO Sir and getting through the twenty-four hours in which I was required to ask for every single thing I needed, it seemed as though we developed a rather comfortable routine with one another.
And by comfortable, I meant that Sir took his role as my master very seriously. To the point I looked forward to every single interaction I had with him. Each morning, he gave me a list of things he wanted me to do that day. Not a long list, mind you, but his ideas were extremely creative.
Hence the reason I was currently vacuuming naked while he sat on the sofa and watched me. I probably should’ve been self-conscious, but I wasn’t. Or I hadn’t been, right up until the moment that Master walked in the door with a man I didn’t recognize, although he looked vaguely familiar. The woman standing beside him looked familiar, too, but I couldn’t place either of them.
“Don’t stop until you’re finished,” Sir instructed when I paused what I was doing.
I did my best to focus on my task while Master and the newcomers took their seats in the living room. It wasn’t easy while everyone seemed to be watching me intently. They were all dressed; I was not. However, I did notice that the woman was wearing a collar, so I took that to mean she was a submissive. Perhaps that was the only reason I managed to complete my task without having an anxiety attack.
After I put the vacuum back in the closet by the stairs, I rejoined Sir in the living room, kneeling at his feet without being instructed.
