Quickly flipping the third letter open, I took a deep breath and jumped right in.
Sweet girl,
If I had all day, I couldn’t tell you how I feel. I’ve never been the type who could express it in words. I’m more a hands-on kind of guy. And by my saying that, you should know that my feelings for you run deep. Far deeper than I anticipated. Although we’ve shared some intimate encounters, I feel as though I haven’t had enough time with you and I’m not ready to give that up. I’m not.
You may have figured out that my brother and I do a lot of sharing. It’s true. And above all else, it’s what I want. Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we want.
In order to get to that perfect point, I feel it’s necessary to have you to myself, to get to know you on a different level. If we didn’t have that opportunity and you were to always look to Langston for guidance and control, I’d be doing a serious disservice to you.
Regardless of your decision, I will respect it.
Landon
My eyes teared up again as I read the letter. Landon wasn’t the type to mince words, and I could practically feel his emotions on the page. I was right in thinking that Landon and I had a connection, because I felt the same way about him. I wasn’t ready to let him go. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Staring at the final letter, I prayed that Langston would say something that would help me make a sound decision.
Little one,
I saw the pain I caused you when I laid out the truth, and I will admit that it hurt on a level I’ve never experienced before. However, in that same regard, what I said was true. In fact, everything I’ve said to you is true. Such as how I knew you were mine the first day that I saw you.
However, when I say that, I’m not sure you can completely understand what I mean. My brother and I are two halves of a whole, always have been, always will be. That means that if you’re mine, you’re his also. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve been good at making that clear, or even figuring out the right way to pursue this that won’t confuse you more.
As far as I’m concerned, you belong to both of us, pet. However, I don’t think you’ve had time to truly understand what that means. Which is the very reason I forced my hand and insisted you make a choice that I hoped you wouldn’t be able to make. I don’t want you to choose me. Not just me. And that’s why I said what I said.
No matter what your decision, I know that there is more in store for you and me and Landon. The question is, how long will it take before it’s realized? Unfortunately, no one has the answer to that right now.
Master
Tears dripped down my cheeks as I read and reread Langston’s letter. However, they weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of anger. It pissed me off that he could be so stubborn, that he could seemingly play God in so many lives. More so that he couldn’t simply tell me what he was feeling. I didn’t want only him. I wanted them both equally. Had he simply asked me, he would’ve known that.
But Langston had been in control since the beginning. He was the one who had switched the gears, veering off the track that we had been going down. And Landon was right. I did look to Langston for guidance and control because of the way he had handled things. It wasn’t fair to the others, nor was it fair to me.
Especially since he wasn’t willing to move this thing we shared any further. I even had to wonder whether he was holding Landon back as well.
Not that I hadn’t expected it from him. Langston hadn’t opened up to me. Not with his feelings. I could tell he wanted something from me. And fine, maybe he didn’t know how he truly felt, but I did. I saw it when he looked at me, when he made love to me. It was there.
But he didn’t want to accept it.
And because of that…
I sighed as I stared out at the water.
Because of that, I knew exactly what I had to do.
But first, I had to confront my friend.
Twenty-Two
AT A FEW MINUTES AFTER five, I forced myself up off my couch and headed to the bathroom to get ready. I had texted Kristen earlier, letting her know that it was important that I talk to her. She assured me she would be at the six o’clock yoga class. Which meant, if I wanted to be there on time, I would have to hurry.
