There was the hint of a smile on Ben’s mouth and that infuriated me more.
“How can this be funny?”
“It’s not,” he stated, jerking me back into his arms and palming the back of my head. “It’s definitely not. I always knew you cared on a much deeper level than you let on.”
Wait.
What?
Pulling back, I stared up into his face. “What do you mean? You don’t think that I care?”
That was possibly the most insulting thing he’d ever said to me. The expression that transformed his features was one that said he hadn’t meant to say so much.
I managed to extricate myself from his grip. “Are you saying that no one here believes I care about them?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” he argued. “However—”
“What?” My voice was way too high to be appropriate for an office setting, but I couldn’t help it. I’d spent days crying over these men and they didn’t think I cared about them? That was complete and total bullshit.
“It’s just that you’ve kept yourself guarded.”
I couldn’t believe he said that. Me? Guarded? Hell, from the moment I walked into this building I’d been an open book.
“How do you figure that? If I recall, I’ve submitted to every single thing the four of you have asked of me. Everything.”
That seemed to spur Ben’s anger, because his response came out in a rough growl. “It’s not all about submission, Luci.”
Now I was completely lost.
“Forget I said anything,” he grumbled as he turned back to his desk.
I had to assume that neither of us was in a good place to be having this discussion. I was being overly emotional, even I knew that. However, I didn’t like what he was accusing me of. And I knew he was hurting because of Justin, but I couldn’t refrain from pushing the issue.
“No!” Okay, that was loud. I managed to lower my voice somewhat. “I want to know what you mean by that. Are you saying I’ve done something wrong?”
He turned to face me and this time his expression was hard. “Tell me the first personal thing that you know about us that doesn’t involve anything sexual.”
I frowned. “I…” Son of a bitch. I hadn’t expected that question. “Give me a minute.”
“Take all the time you need,” he said in a huff, as though proving his point.
I knew plenty of things about them and I blurted out the first things that came to mind. “I know that Master and Sir have an older sister. I know that their parents are into the lifestyle and have a Master/slave relationship that has remained strong even though they opted to have children.”
He nodded. “Well, you’ve done your homework then.” His eyes narrowed. “On Landon and Langston. I wasn’t referring to them, Luci. Everyone in the fucking building knows how you feel about them.”
Now my anger was growing legs and threatening to race out of control. “I know that Justin has a master’s degree in business and that he went to Stanford. I know that…that…he likes to cook, but he’s admitted you’re a much better cook than he is.”
“I guess I was wrong,” he said, although he didn’t sound sincere.
“No, fuck that!” I yelled. “You don’t get to turn this around on me. You don’t get to tell me that I don’t know anything about you. Tell me one time you’ve tried to get close to me. When you’ve showed a personal interest in me. Were you aware that my mother hasn’t bothered to call me one time since she came back from her cruise? Even though I’ve left her several messages?”
His eyes widened and I suddenly felt like shit. This wasn’t his business. He was not supposed to be interested in me on that level. It wasn’t fair of me to accuse him. No more than it was fair for him to do the same to me.
“Never mind,” I said, spinning around only to find Master and Sir standing in the doorway.
Son of a bitch.
This was not good.
Dropping my gaze to the floor, I immediately apologized to them for my outburst. It was unprofessional and fueled by emotion, which seemed to be my downfall these days. However, in my defense, I was worried about Justin. I didn’t feel as though he should be alone right now. And it seemed wrong that anyone would put work above family.
Then again, that was my personal view on the subject. Not theirs.
“Pet?” Master’s voice was even, almost gentle. “Can I see you in my office?”
Shit.
I nodded, knowing I didn’t have a choice.
When I started out of the room, he turned to follow me, placing his hand on the small of my back. I was so angry I wanted to pull away from him, but I didn’t. Before we made it to his door, I changed my mind.
“Would you mind if I take a few minutes? I need to…get my emotions under control.”
