Page 59 of Edged
Leaning forward, I pushed a cube of white cheese onto a slice of salami and wrapped it up into a neat little package.
“You’re a lot sometimes, Archie.”
His nostrils flared and his phone vibrated again. With a resigned sigh, he flipped it back over and typed out a message before looking back to me. “I know I don’t have a lot of time,” he murmured.
“And so many things you want to do before I go home?”
He swallowed and glanced away from me, working his jaw from left to right instead of giving me an answer.
For the most part, things between us had been good since I’d arrived in California. Or rather, since he’d picked me up and we’d flown back to California. A lot of sex, which I’d expected and, honestly, a decent amount of conversation, which I hadn’t. Archie and I had talked about some heavy things too, but the mood between us had stayed steady. Sure, there were moments when I was painfully aware of the ten years of silence that existed behind us, and what would most likely be ten more years in the future too…
But I’d lost him before, and I could lose him again.
I had three days and three nights left, and I was going to get my fill.
Literally and figuratively.
Archie didn’t want anything more from me than that anyway. At least, that was the lie I’d been telling myself since his confession earlier in the day. The only solace I found in the three words he’d said to me was that I knew they had to be a lie. Archie maybe loved who I was before, or the idea of what we could have been, but notme.
When I couldn’t get the words or the lie out of my head, I ate my way through half the cheddar and all of the salami. Archie seemed content to watch me eat in silence, ignoring the sporadic alerts vibrating out of his phone. It was a weird thing for me to think about him saying those words to me because there’d been a time when that was all I wanted. When I’d confessed myself to him and hoped for the same in reply.
But he was right. There was no way it would have worked. And much like now, there was no real path forward for us. If for no other reason, that it would have killed my sister.
After finally looking back down to his phone, Archie sighed and opened his mouth to speak at the same time I blurted,“Are we going to talk about the fact that you said you loved me?”
He snapped his mouth closed and scanned my face. I inhaled sharply and let the breath out, dragging my tongue across the front of my teeth.
“Actually, no,” I said before he could formulate a response. “Let’s not.”
“We can talk about it,” he said softly. “We can talk about all of it if you want.”
“I don’t want.”
He shoved his hair away from his face, the ends still damp and curling around his forehead.
“My friends are asking if you’d like to come out with us tonight,” he said, clearly sensing that I meant it when I said I didn’t want to talk about the four letter word in question.
“Where?”
“Rapture.”
My mouth flashed into half a smile before falling back into place. Rapture, the private club with the gold-foiled business cards and the private play loft where I’d gotten one of the best blow jobs of my life until Archie showed up in the hallway and knew the other man by name.
ThatRapture.
“I know what we did last time I was there. What I did…” I inclined my head to the side. “What doyounormally do?”
“Honestly?”
I nodded and Archie stood, using both hands against the table to brace himself as he shoved the chair away. As he straightened up, the doorbell rang, and he glanced down at me.
“Anything I want,” he said, then he gestured to me. “Are you okay to entertain company like that?”
I’d dressed casually after the shower, a pair of soft and faded jeans with a rip in the thigh and a frayed hem around the ankles in the back from years of being caught under the heels of my sneakers and a band tee from a concert I’d seen on the waterfront two summers before.
“You said tonight.”
“I told you they’re a lot.”
