Page 112 of Wildfire
I sigh, because I have to go but I could go back and forth with her all day. It’s weird having no kids interrupting us or constantly worrying we look too close. It’s fucking exciting that we’re already so happy together and the real part of our relationship is only just beginning. I kiss her again, telling myself again that it’ll be the last time because I’m leaving. “Can you be good while I’m gone?”
“Usually with the right motivation.”
“And what will motivate you? Me thinking you’re good?”
She shakes her head. “You already think I’m an angel.”
“Not true. You’ve the opposite of angelic most of the time.”
“I want a Callaghan jersey. If I’m about to become a hockey girl, I need all the jersey chasers to know you’re mine.”
Mine. “Done.”
“Good luck. I’m proud of you, and please remember to call me if you need me.”
“I will, I promise. Bye.”
AFTER TALKING TOETHAN YESTERDAYon the drive home, I feel slightly better equipped for what I’m walking into. He’s promised me it’s an informal family discussion where we air things in a healthy way, and Dad has the opportunity to apologize for his past actions. It’s an opportunity for us to rebuild and heal, just like I’ve wanted.
There’s a rental car in the driveway when I pull up outside my parents’ house, so I know he’s already here. His band has a small break between shows, which is why he was so insistent it had to be now. Pulling the keys out of the ignition, I kind of wish Rory was here, but at the same time I’m glad she’s not.
Pulling out my phone, I send her a text, smirking again at what she’s saved herself as in my phone. She said she wanted me to know which one is her, given all the girls I’m going to attract with my newfound confidence.
RORY (THE HOT BLOND ONE)
Is it weird that I miss you?
Who is this?
You’re funny
I miss you too
Good luck x
Ethan bangs on the window beside me, frowning at me, and it’s like looking in a mirror that ages you. “Hurry up,” he says impatiently. “We’re waiting for you.”
My first thought is should I start the truck and drive away. I’ve wanted my dad to change for so long that I’m scared to start things. Anxiety is rumbling through me like a storm, but I’m trying to tell myself that things can’t get worse. I wanted change, and now it might be happening.
Ethan doesn’t wait for me to respond before walking back into the house, and I slowly climb out and follow. I’ve never liked this house, and it’s never felt like home. My parents sold my childhood home to buy this smaller one in a worse area, telling everyone they were downsizing after Ethan moved out and I was preparing for college.
In reality, they took the equity to pay off dad’s gambling debts, which just led him to start the borrowing process all over again. I feel like a stranger walking inside, even though my face lines the walls.
Everyone is sitting in the living room and there’s a tension in the air, which isn’t exactly unusual for my family. Mom is the first one to act, by standing and giving me a tight hug. “Hi, Mom.”
“I’ve missed you so much,” she says, sounding like she’s tearing up. “Take a seat. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“We’ll let you two talk,” Ethan says, moving to usher Mom out of the room with him.
“Wait, what?” My heart starts to thud. I was told we’re having a family discussion, not Dad and me one-on-one. “This isn’t what you said, Ethan.”
He ignores me, and my first instinct is to get up and leave. Dad looks better than he did a couple of weeks ago when I last saw him. The bags around his eyes are no longer dark, his face is less gaunt, I can see his things scattered around the living room. “Have you moved back in?”
He nods. “I’m sleeping in the guest bedroom. I was staying in a motel, checking in with your mom each day. We’ve talked a lot. I feel like all I do is talk at the moment, but it’s good. I’m glad to clear the air and work on getting better.”
“I don’t know whatmake amendsmeans, Dad. I’ve read about it and heard about it, but I don’t know what it means for us.”
“I want to start by saying sorry, Russ.” I don’t say anything. I can’t say anything because I’m scared of opening my mouth. “And I want to say thank you.”
