Page 100 of Wildfire
“Bye, Dad.”
ISIT ALONE AT THEpicnic table for another twenty minutes. Thinking, processing, wondering if this could really be the start of the change I’ve been desperate for.
Eventually, I remember myself and head to find Jenna. It feels like there’s been more drama today than there has been the whole summer combined.
I know I fucked up and I know that Jenna has every right to fire me for what she saw, but I hope she won’t. Earlier, I thought being caught was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me at camp. But then my dad made an unplanned visit, and suddenly that was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me at camp. Facing Jenna now feels a hell of a lot less scary.
As I knock on the door to her office, I realize a smart person would’ve kept out of the way and hoped for the best. I don’t appear to be a smart person anymore. But I’m not going to be able to function if I’m waiting around, wondering if I’m about to get told to pack my bags and leave.
“Nice to see you with your clothes on,” she says when I walk into her office.
The heat immediately rushes to my cheeks and ears. “I’ve been trying to think of something I could say that might explain why I knowingly ignored the rules, but I don’t have a good enough excuse and I don’t want to waste your time.” She folds her arms across her chest and sits back in her chair, staring at me with a look of defiance. “I never expected someone like Aurora to even look in my direction, but she has, and I’m going to cling on to that with bothhands. I know you love her, Jenna. All I want to do is make her happy.”
“You can’t make her happy and also keep your pants on?” she says. “This is a place of work, not a frat house.”
“I’ve spent my life trying to stick to the rules. I’ve kept my head down, kept my stories and secrets and done my best to carry around my baggage alone. She makes me not want to be alone anymore. I’m sorry I broke the rules, but I don’t regret it, and I’d do it again if it meant I could do it with her. I’m grateful for the opportunity your family has given me, but I’m more grateful for her.”
“Y’all stress me out so much, I swear.” Jenna rubs her temples and groans loudly. “Every day I want you to think about what you’re grateful for in life. Every single day. If she’s ever not on your list, I want you to work out why and fix it. If you’re not treating her like she’s the best thing to ever happen to you, you don’t deserve her. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“She has a big heart, but it’s bruised. When you spend a long time self-destructing, sometimes your pieces don’t fit back together quite right. She’s gonna need time and patience.”
“I understand.”
“Good. Now get out. Go do your job so I can forget about this.”
“I’m not fired?”
“For now.” She waves me off with a hand. “And Russ, I have a million places to bury a body if you break her heart. We have acres you don’t even know about. They’d never find you.”
Jenna is kind of terrifying and I wholeheartedly believe her. “Noted.”
Chapter Thirty-ThreeRUSS
EVERY DAYITHINK ABOUTthe things I’m grateful for like Jenna told me to.
Most days it’s little things, like all the kids having fun or a good night’s sleep. I’m grateful when I check the group chat with my friends and see that they’re excited to see me soon, or when I see that another day goes by and I don’t have a cash request from my dad.
Every single day I’m grateful for Aurora, for getting to see how happy she is letting the kids push her into the lake for the millionth time, or hearing about the cat her mom may or may not have stolen from a neighbor. I’m grateful for the smile I get from her when she first sees me in the morning when I stop by at the end of my run or the kiss we manage to steal away from the group.
I’m grateful to Jenna for not sending us home and I’m grateful to Xander and Emilia for doing what they can to help us successfully continue to sneak around.
Taking the time to look at my day and appreciate what I have and what I’ll be taking away with me is helping me not be sad that it’s time to leave.
But today on the stage in front of everyone at Honey Acres, I’m grateful that the talent show is nearly over.
I’m used to hearing people cheering and applauding, but usually I’m on the ice surrounded by my teammates and it’s easy to zone out. It’s not that simple when it’s just me, Xander, and the dogs on a stage where Xander is showing no sign that he plans to get off it soon.
I know my face is bright red as I hop down, whistling for the dogs to follow me, hoping that it’ll force Xander down. Without Aurora’s determination to do a good job, Xander and I didn’t attempt to put a plan together until yesterday. Now that we’re done and I can stop worrying about it, I’m grateful that Fish, Salmon, and Trout will do anything for bacon.
To their credit, they did every trick perfectly, and I’m convinced nobody will know how unorganized and chaotic this thing has been all summer.
“Nailed it,” Xander says as we throw ourselves into our seats at the back of the seating area. “Told you we would. Tell me I was right.”
“You were right,” I grumble reluctantly.
All the Brown Bear kids smashed it and now that I’m not the performer, I can appreciate how fun this is and what a good way it is to end the summer.
