Page 47 of Unhinged Kallie

“Do you think this is funny, son? Terrorizing young women?”

“What? No. I didn’t even know it was in my backseat.”

“Really? A decapitated head just wandered into your truck?” He put his hand on his hips.

“No, I just mean I wasn’t the one who put it there, and I definitely didn’t do it to terrorize anyone.”

“Right. Then how did it get there?”

I really wanted to ask, ‘Why do you ask stupid questions,’ but I kept that to myself and shrugged. “My best guess is it was some of the fans or players from the Wild Boars playing a practical joke. They’re still butt sore about losing the combine game to us.”

I lied way more smoothly than I should’ve been able too. Cain had taught me a few things very well, and being calm under extreme pressure was one of them. The Wild Boars was the baseball team from two towns over and a bunch of their players had been invited to the combine. Of course, we were separated into our rival sides for the game and they almost won, but their pitcher hitting me walked in the winning run.

The officer’s eyes widened, and then he looked me up and down. “Well, holy shit. Carter Kohlmann?”

“Um…yeah.”

“Shit, boys, uncuff him. Damn, I’m sorry. We got a call that you were keeping human heads in the backseat of your truck.” He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “You can’t be too careful these days.”

I rubbed my wrists as they removed the cuffs, “No, you certainly can’t.” The irony of that statement was not lost on me. Fucking strange world I lived in indeed.

“I’m Greg,” he held his hand out for me to shake. “Look, this is the worst time, but would you mind signing my hat? I have it in the cruiser?”

“No, I don’t mind,” I said, following behind him. As if this night couldn’t get any stranger, it did. What was next? Aliens? Were they going to come down and abduct us?

“Thanks so much. My whole family was at the game. We love to see the next stars and could feel you were going to hit a home run. I still say that pitcher hit you on purpose. Shit, I’m so happy to see you’re okay.”

“Thanks. I’m hoping to make spring tryouts to get back on track.”

Greg reached into the car and pulled out the baseball hat and a thick marker. I scribbled my name on the brim while he beamed at me like I was already a superstar.

“Here you go, Greg. Thank you for letting me go.”

“Aw shit, son, I’m sorry. Did you want us to take the head?” I wanted to say yes, but Cain said, ‘Never leave evidence anywhere,’ and I had no idea if that thing would have any or not.

“Thanks for the offer, but I may use it for a little payback.” Greg laughed. At least he thought this situation was entertaining.

“Alright, son, we’ll leave you alone.”

“Did you want a selfie? I mean, I can do one with all the guys if they want?”

Rule number eight, make the most of a bad situation and create something you can use later.

“Well, shit yeah. It’s not every day we get to meet a bona fide rising star. Hey boys, we’re gonna do pictures. Come here.”

An hour later, I turned down the farm driveway and spotted Kallie sitting on the front porch. She smiled as I pulled up. I was going to freak out at her, tell her she had to stop doing this kind of shit, but that was what she wanted. Besides, I kind of liked her games even though it had almost gotten me arrested or shot tonight.

Shutting off the truck, I grabbed my pig head and slipped out of the vehicle with a smile.

“Back so soon?”

“Training early tomorrow, but this was a nice touch.” I rubbed the head and walked to the fire pit. “Who knew that girls were so freaky? She fucking loved it and wanted to fuck in the truck bed with it.”

Kallie was following me, and I could feel the glare penetrating my back, making me smile. I sat the head on the cooking grate and quickly got a fire going with the supplies that were readily available.

“You’re lying,” she said, but it sounded like a growl.

“Why would I lie about great sex? I mean, she was wild, fucking freaky girls are the best. Thank you for this. I may take one on all my dates.” I watched the pig’s head burn and smiled wide at Kallie, who was glowering at me. “Sleep well. I better get to bed. I’m worn out, and I need to clean my jeans, they got all dirty.” I brushed at the dirt marks from the pavement, and I thought Kallie was going to blow a gasket she looked so furious.