Page 36 of Unhinged Kallie

“I didn’t need to. She said it herself in the girl’s bathroom. I happened to be in the far stall. It’s not my fault she didn’t check before running her mouth. So ya, I picked on her, but she deserved it. No one says shit like that about you.”

I had no idea what to say as my pulse pounded hard and my stomach flipped. I wanted to turn around and kiss her so bad.

“Ah, well, thanks for saving me, I guess.”

“Gee, don’t sound so excited.” Her hands moved, and panic washed over me as one hand moved up and the other went down. I pressed my stomach hard into the counter so she couldn’t go any lower than the bottom of my abs.

“Trouble? What are you doing?”

“Being troublesome,” she said. “When did you get these abs?”

I could tell she was smiling, but I needed to get away from her. I tossed the pan down on the stove and grabbed her wrists, forcing her to let go as I stepped away.

“Why are you always like this? I don’t get it. We used to be so close.”

“You’re fourteen, and I’m seventeen. It’s inappropriate, Kallie,” I said, using her name. She looked like I’d hit her, and I hated it. I wanted to hold her and kiss her…fuck, I needed out of this house. “I promised Troy I’d hang with him and Bo tonight. Your dad is out. I’ll see you later.”

I stomped for the door and grabbed my backpack on the way.

“I’m not a little kid Carter,” Kallie yelled at my back.

“Maybe, but you’re still very underage, and I happen to like staying out of jail and keeping all my appendages attached.”

“Really? You’re worried about touching me when I kill people?”

It was a fair question, but I needed to have some morals. Fuck I had smothered most of them and thrown them to the pigs with the rest of the bodies, but this was something I could keep. Even if it seemed ridiculous to anyone else.

I turned around to look at Kallie, and her hands were in fists at her sides, anger written all over her face. I wondered if Cain was wrong and it would be Kallie that took my life.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Kallie. I’m seventeen. I have no interest in dating a kid. Is that what you think would happen? I’d break up with June and run to you. Would you want to be with some eleven-year-old?” I hated that I had to hurt her to get her to back off, but I was way too close to rushing across the room and kissing her. I could and would accept many things this life threw at me, but willingly becoming a statutory rapist was not one of them.

“Well, no, but this is different. We are different.”

I shook my head. “No, we aren’t. I want to have sex, and I can’t do that with you.” I shrugged and backed out the door even though each step felt like my feet were weighted.

“Carter….”

“You need to grow up, Kallie. The real world is complicated, and to the world, I’m your brother, never mind the age gap. Do you really think your dad would want CPS or the police knocking on his door because people are talking about his two kids committing incest?”

Her bottom lip trembled, her eyes filling with tears. It wasn’t until now that I understood her feelings may be closer to mine than I realized, but that only made this worse.

“So you do like me?”

Why did she have to be so smart?

Saying anything more was going to trap me in a corner. I shook my head and looked away from the blue eyes that haunted me every hour of the day.

“Keep pushing, and I’ll move out.”

I let the door slam and jogged down the stairs and along the drive toward Troy’s house, but once I was out of sight, I veered off and walked through the trees to the narrow stream that ran through the property. I never hung out with Troy. That was like hanging out with Cain all night. I wondered if I would end up maimed or dead before the night was over.

I dropped into the chair I’d brought down here for times exactly like this. Opening my bag, I pulled out the small pile of pictures that I took everywhere. The first was of me, my mom, and my dad on a ferry. I was just a baby then, but sometimes when I closed my eyes at night, I could feel them and remember the soft hum of the song my mom would sing to help me sleep. Had I made them proud, or would they be disappointed in me and what I did for Cain?

The snapping sound of a twig made me jump. Kallie stood at the edge of the small clearing with two takeout containers in her hands.

“Kallie….”

“I’m sorry, Carter. I just miss you, and I’m sorry I do things that make you uncomfortable.” She held out the closed dishes. “You made a great meal and didn’t get to eat it. Can the food you made be considered an olive branch?” She smiled, and my heartbeat tripled like I was doing suicide sprints.