Page 49 of Disobedient Pawn

“Thanks.” Chantry blushed and looked down so that once more, her black hair covered her face.

“What color do you want,” Ivy asked, and I shifted around to face her.

“Hmm, do you have any silver?”

“Have you seen this basket?” Ivy’s voice was playful as she held up the large basket full of nail polishes. “Duh, of course, I have silver.” Smiling, I held out my hand. I missed doing stuff like this. The last time I had a girls night was months before Mum was killed. My Aunt Nadia, Lizzy, Mum, and I had sat around my mum’s bed laughing and talking like everything was normal. We knew it wasn’t, but my mum hated when we acted differently around her. I’d done my nails silver then too.

“Could you do one nail black,” I asked.

“Yeah, that will look awesome.”

I smiled at Ivy, but the joy didn’t reach my heart. It was a little symbol of my mum’s passing. Before I could stop it, a tear fell from my eye and landed on my sweater. I was hoping that neither of the girls had seen, but they were both staring, and I had to look away from their concerned eyes.

“What’s wrong? If this is about Vicky, you can stay in here with us. I basically curl up in a ball anyway. You can share my bed.”

I giggled, picturing the look on Myles's face if he heard I was sleeping in the same bed as Ivy. Why it was his stupid face that came to mind, I didn’t want to analyze too closely.

Wiping away the tear, I sighed. “No, it has nothing to do with the Nicky ship.” The girls smiled.

“Nicky?” Ivy laughed. “I like that. We can use it as a code word for them. Sorry, go ahead. I’ll be quiet.”

“It’s okay. My mum passed away not long before I came here, and it’s been really tough. My dad and I don’t get along at all, and we haven’t for years.”

Saying it out loud confirmed the truth of just how alone I really was. My Aunt and best friend were in another country, and I was trapped in this place with a group of people I hardly knew. Most of whom didn’t like me or wanted to mess with the new girl.

“Both my parents are alive, but I only see them on holidays,” Chantry said. “They drop me off and forget about me only to overcompensate with lavish and unwanted gifts. Then during summer break, they ship me off to visit a family member. The truth is, I was a mistake. They never wanted kids. They never wanted me.”

Leaning over, I hugged Chantry, but she just sat there rigid. It was easy to tell she wasn’t used to contact with other people. I just held her until she relaxed into the hug. Straightening, I looked at Ivy. She had her head down, playing with imaginary fluff on the blanket we had spread on the floor.

“Ivy, will you tell me why you’re so scared of your dad?” I reached out to lay my hand on her knee. The mood of the room had shifted, and I felt terrible for that. It also didn’t match the sweet and welcoming atmosphere created with decorative lights, flower arrangements everywhere you looked, and pretty photographs of rainbows and waterfalls on the walls. It was as if the girls had preferred to live in a garden and wanted the room to feel like we were sitting outside.

“He wasn’t always an ass. I can remember my dad bouncing me on his knee, reading me stories, or taking me to movies when I was really little. My mom was amazing, or she was until she took off. I was ten when I came home from school and found the house empty, not just of her but of everything. She had it all set that she was leaving and had movers lined up to take the furniture. My dad was served divorce papers at work.” Ivy shrugged. “He was hurt and sad at first, but then he got mad and mean. Now he doesn’t care who he hurts or if he takes money from bad people. When he gets angry or drinks, he hits me and calls me my mom’s name.”

This time we both hugged Ivy. “I hate going home. I never want to go home for holidays or for summer. This place is like a prison, but it’s still safer than what’s waiting for me out there.”

“I’m so sorry.” Standing up, I wandered over to Ivy’s phone and the speakers playing music. I found the song I was looking for and hit play. Cyndi Lauper’s, Girl Just Want To Have Fun came on, and I cranked the volume. I held my hands out to the girls. Their smiles were slow but eventually spread as they stood up and came to me.

“This song was one of my mum’s favorites. We both loved Grey’s Anatomy and would dance it out whenever Merideth and Christina would on the show. Then it became our thing. We would always put on music, dance around and sing whenever we felt sad. I don’t want to give up the tradition. Would you like to be my new dance partners,” I asked, wiggling ridiculously.

“Heck ya!”

The room descended into a dance party of three. We laughed and sang, and when the song ended, we hit play again until we were out of breath. Lowering the volume, we flopped on the floor pillows we’d been sitting on earlier and giggled at the ridiculousness, but it felt good. I hated that little things like this seemed so big and left me with a hint of guilt. In my heart, I knew my mum would want me to live my life, but doing anything fun seemed like I was spitting on her memory.

Completely out of breath, I leaned back on my arms and stared at the ceiling. The simple white had been painted with tiny stars that made up constellations. My fingers instinctively went to the side of my neck, and the eight freckles my mum said looked like the Phoenix constellation. From memory alone, I traced the symbol feeling like I’d been reduced to ash by everything that happened and was still waiting for my rebirth.

“Thank you, I didn’t know how much I needed that,” I said and smiled at Ivy and Chantry.

“Same.” They looked at one another. “Jinx.” They said in perfect unison again, which reduced us to a fit of giggles.

“So, are you excited about the party next weekend,” Ivy asked as we settled back into her doing my nails. It took me a moment to remember what she was talking about.

“Oh, you mean the one Lisa mentioned?”

“Yeah, it’s at Sacred Heart Academy, which is a little over an hour away, but we don’t have a curfew on Saturdays,” Ivy said, smiling wide.

“I thought your dad wouldn’t let you go to things like parties?” Ivy’s cheeks flushed.

“He doesn’t, but Sacred Heart is outside his patrol area, and I know he’s off duty. There shouldn’t be any reason for him to see me.”