Page 21 of Shadow Queen
She took a drink and closed her eyes, savoring the sweet taste of berries on her tongue as she sank into an armchair by the fire. She was tired, tired of the constant fight. Her shivering stopped, but she wasn’t sure if it was from the flames of the fire or the warmth of the alcohol.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it?” she asked. “You try to intimidate me. You stand against me on everything.”
“I say what needs to be said.”
Norah sighed. She couldn’t win this argument with him, not with his hatred running so deep. She swirled her wine in her chalice. “Why would Mikael have you swear yourself to me?”
He shifted the wood on the fire with his sword. “To keep the peace. That’s what you want. And as with everything else you want, he gives it to you.” There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.
“But you don’t want peace,” she said. It wasn’t a question.
“It doesn’t matter what I want.”
Norah felt a small sadness, not in the way he yearned for war, but in the way he cast all his desires aside, how he gave without expectation. He really did love the king. She sighed, thinking. “Surely the army wouldn’t follow you and continue to be allied with Mercia if the king fell.”
His brow dipped. “They would,” he said, taking offense. “They would follow me anywhere.” He leaned his sword against the stone of the fireplace. “It’s the nobles that wouldn’t. That’s why you need an heir.”
An heir—it was a topic she dreaded. Mikael hadn’t brought it up again since their wedding night, but she had expected it would surface eventually. She just hadn’t expected it from the commander. Norah took another drink of her wine. “What would the nobles do if I didn’t have an heir?”
“Try to take the throne.”
“What would you do, then?”
Soren stood and stepped back from the growing fire, taking a chalice and pouring wine for himself. “Kill them,” he said blankly. Then he brought the cup to his lips.
Norah frowned. So much death. “Is that what you were worried about when Mikael absolved his marriages? The nobles? Did you think they’d do something?”
“They did. And they still might.”
She hadn’t forgotten the attempt on her life. A knot tugged in her stomach—it might not be settled still.
“Salar needs to satisfy the nobles to keep his crown,” he said. “You donothingto help him.”
She wanted to. She wasn’t sure she was ready for a child yet, but she wanted to help Mikael. She cupped her chalice in both hands, letting the brim rest on her lips. The alcohol warmed her cheeks. “Do you have any children?”
He snorted. “No.”
“Have you been with a woman before?” she asked, surprising even herself. Her cheeks grew hot. Why had she asked that?
“Of course I have.” He balked at her question, insult heavy in his voice.
“Oh,” she said awkwardly. She had just thought with his preference… What was his preference? It was none of her business, that’s what it was. She pursed her lips and then mumbled, “That was rude. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he said irritably. “You’re salara, you don’t apologize.”
That hardly seemed the criteria for whether an apology was owed. Norah took another drink of her wine. “Do you have anyone? A lover?” she asked. Yet another question that surprised her. What was wrong with her?
“You said you wouldn’t speak of this again.”
Their pact… “This is different.”Kind of.And here she was again, deep into not-her-business territory.
His eyes seared into her. She forced back another apology that sat on the tip of her tongue. Another intrusive question. She should stop drinking the wine.
He surprised her when he actually answered. “If I let myself care about another, my enemies will hurt them to hurt me. To pull me away from Salar.”
“You mean that’s whatyouwould do.”
“It’s what any cunning foe would do,” he said sharply. A tension hung in the air, and he exhaled. “No one can take me from Salar. No one, save for you, as he’s made me promise.”
