Page 37 of The Crown the Fae Forgot
A consequence that I, too, felt.
Because I hadn't simply glamoured Lady Phyrra to stay her hand.
I'd glamoured the entire court.
It took me longer than it should have to fully realize what I'd done, but after the rush of releasing my glamour, the absence of what I'd spent left me lightheaded enough that it was only be some kind of miracle that I didn't pass out. Perhaps it was theshock of seeing the world go still, or simply that as draining as the release of the magic was, it was even more of a relief to finally let it out.
It wasn't until the outer corners of my vision had once again cleared and my breathing had begun to steady that I began to process what I saw laid out before me. Lady Phyrra stood, her hand raised, the sword in it already slightly on its downward path towards the boy held firmly between what might as well have now been two empty suits of armor, they stood so still. But that tableau wasn't what made my breath once again catch in the back of my throat.
It was the crowd spread behind her, their eyes trained not on Lady Phyrra in that moment, but on me.
Their bodies may have been cemented in place as if made of actual cement, but their eyes, it seemed could still follow me.
They'd heard the command loud and clear.
So much for Lady Phyrra's attempt to hide me. Even those fae who might not have recognized the distinctive look of a Eastern Court royal, they'd certainly recognize her power.
Especially now.
That instinct that had driven me to glamour an entire court to stop had been spent, and in its absence, and only, familiar emotion rushed into its place as I looked around at the gathered crowd, at the thousands of faces turned my way, watching, waiting, just as I'd commanded them to. It wasn't until I turned and saw the only three faces looking back at me, these too frozen like all the rest, until I let it consume me.
Fear.
This,thiswas exactly what I'd been afraid of.
This was why I'd fought off the power for so long. Looking into the faces of Shiel, Zev, and Finch, my three loyal companions, the fae that had fought for me, rescued me, given so much to me--and the very first thing I did with my power wastake away the one thing from them that I'd been so afraid to take from me.
Their choice.
I looked from each one to the next, taking in their frozen expressions as they watched me like all the rest, and in that moment my heart broke. I'd only meant to stop Lady Phyrra from killing the poor boy brought before her.
But even as I thought it, I knew it wasn't true. The previous times when I'd used me power, however greatly reduced it had been, I'd been focused on one person. One singular thing. But this time, when the power welled up in me, I'd been focusing instead on an idea. It wasn't Lady Phyrra I'd wanted to stop. It wasn't even my father. It was everything. I'd wanted to stopeverything.
And so I had.
Even if my current state, with the weight of my own actions crashing down around me, I knew it wouldn't last forever. I knew eventually I'd have to face the consequences of my actions.
Lady Phyrra was willing to kill a boy because he'd distracted her court from her for a few seconds. I doubted she'd extend any courtesy from me for doing far worse.
Any hope I had of finding in an ally in the Southern Court had been lost the moment I decided to give into that new instinct now conveniently burying itself somewhere deep down to hide...right when I could use its guidance the most.
Instinct or not, betrayal or not, I wasn't alone, however. I didn't have to face this alone.
Finding the glamour in my was easier the next time I reached for it. I drew it forth as I walked to face Shiel, my hand reaching up to cup the side of his face, only to stop my hand a hair's breath too soon. It didn't feel right, touching him like this, not when there was nothing he could do to stop me.
Not that there would ever be anything he could do to stop me again.
I forced the thought away. This was the burden I'd chosen. This was my power. My responsibility.
If anyone would understand that, it was the fae now standing before me.
"Shiel," I whispered. "You're free, now."
The lord of the western court stumbled forward with a groan as his muscles finally released him from the prison I'd encased him in.
I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could say anything, Shiel's lips were suddenly on mine. I didn't even realize the rest of him had followed, that his arms surrounded me, pulling me flush with his rigid body until he was already releasing me.
It was my turn to stumble back, lips trembling.
