Page 131 of The Time It Takes
He gives my hip a light squeeze. “Like I finally have something to thank the stars about.”
“Should we be worried that the first five rows are listed as a splash zone?” Taylor asks, his brows furrowed as he reads the pamphlet in his hands.
"I was wondering why they were handing out ponchos," Dean says, looking thoughtful.
AFTER THE EVENT, I felt the random need to go to the beach and jump into the ocean. Julian stayed back to network, and I don’t blame him. He sold almost all his pieces tonight, in which all funds would be donated equally among the causes represented. Oliver managed to ruin my lipstick the moment I got in his jeep. I didn’t know he still had it, which only made me want to kiss him more.
As soon as my feet hit the sand, I’m running, Oliver’s hand glued to mine. Behind us are Dean, Phoebe, and Taylor. Finnick went for ice cream with Dean’s parents. The beach is lit only by the moon and its stars. The water is irresistibly smooth tonight, which makes it perfect for running into. Taylor tosses down the speaker that blares ‘Midnight City’ by M83.
We all dart into the water and crash against it. There are no words for this moment to justify how warm it makes me feel. Our paint stained clothes cling to our skin and water is being splashed in every direction. I’m living off the sound of my friends’ laughter—their voices. There will never be enough moments like this.
Never again will I let myself lose this. For so long I let myself forget what it meant to feel alive. I’ve merely been living a lie. For so long I have pretended that this was another world in time. I believed it to be a parallel universe when it was right here waiting for me to come back to this entire time.
Since that night ten years ago I have longed for something. It’s only now that I realize I’ve longed to be myself again. It’s not wrong or overly sentimental to want the things we once had in our grasp.
It’s human.
There will always be darkness luring around inside of me. In time, I will learn to accept it. There’s a reason for everything—no matter how painful life can get. It’s all meant to become something more. Something prominent and unchangeable.
I dip my head under the water and listen to the silence. For once, I don’t care to have any. Coming back above the water, I find Oliver watching me from the beach. He’s soaked and sandy and completely mine.
Something in the air shifts and it’s just us. Everything else fades as I make my way to him. He meets me halfway until only our calves are submerged in the sea. His eyes roam my body and I know some of the paint is still there. His dimples appear when he looks at me.
I step closer to him and run my thumbs over the dents.
“Willow?”
I blink slowly out of my fascination. “Yeah?”
He presses his forehead to mine. I can feel his breath caress my lips as he whispers, “You’re so goddamn beautiful.” His voice cracks in a mixture of agony and relief. “And you’re here. You came home.”
I can’t help the smile that forms on my face as tears burn the backs of my eyes.
Home.
With that, I act on what my bones demand. I bring my mouth to his, feeling the destination on his lips as the word wedges itself back into the hole the universe tore from my soul all those years ago.
After all that’s happened, I finally feel as if I can take a step forward. The loss I’ve experienced will always be with me, but I know I don’t have to be alone in this grief.
I’m breathing, I think to myself.
And it doesn’t hurt anymore.
THREE MONTHS LATER
OLIVER GRAYSON
"Damsel!”Icalloutfrom the register. “Stop being so indecisive and pick something.”
Willow smiles to herself as she grabs an energy drink and a bag of beef jerky. We’re somewhere along the coast of Virginia at a worn-down gas station. I can’t stop thinking about the look on her face while she was driving her brother’s car here; like all was right in the world. She looked peaceful. I can’t remember the last time I’d seen that look on her face.
I’ll be driving the last strip of road before we reach our destination.
While I was excited to help her pack up her studio apartment, I wasn’t looking forward to a glimpse of the life she had without me. It’s a bittersweet feeling to have lost so much time with someone who’s now standing right in front of you again.
We’re going to make a week out of the trip. Willow’s practically been bouncing off the walls with excitement at the idea of me finally getting to meet Lily. I am too if I’m being completely honest. Though the idea is still strange to me, I know it won’t feel real until I see the kid for myself.
Tossing her snacks onto the counter with sass, I look over at my girl, not being able to contain my smile and that little flip my heart does when she’s around. She rises on her tiptoes and kisses me on the chin when she catches me watching her. After the cashier finishes ringing us up, we head back out to Ben’s car. I don’t think we’ll ever stop calling it his, because in a way it always will be. It feels wrong to think of it any other way. Even when Willow’s mother let me take it, in my mind it was stillhis.
