Page 49 of Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
Words I wanted to hear. So why don’t they fix me?
“I was wrong,” he goes on when I simply continue to stare at him.
“You’re damn right you were wrong.”
I hold steady when he reaches for me, not willing to simply forgive and forget.
“Lilah.” The pleading note to his voice, coupled with the sheer regret on his face, has my defenses crumbling faster than a sandcastle at high tide.
“Evan.”
“Can I come in?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Because I will cave. And if I cave now, it tells him his behavior two days ago was okay when it was anything but. I was…whatever we were doingwith him. Only him.
He sighs. “That’s fair. I’m sorry. I fucked up. Accusing you the way I did and going at Milo like that…”
“What the hell possessed you to react that way? Milo and I are friends. Only friends.”
“I know that when I think about it rationally. But walking in like that, it reminded me of my past—”
“I have nothing to do with that,” I snap, because I still have no fucking clue what happened.
“I didn’t say that.” His voice holds the hint of an argument for the first time since he showed up here.
“What are you saying? Because other than the apology, that’s all I’m hearing. And I’m not the only one you should be apologizing to.”
“Fuck this.” Between one breath and the next, he closes the distance between us and yanks me into his arms. “I’m saying I love you.”
His words hold me motionless in his arms.
“What?”
His grip loosens, but I still don’t move out of his hold.
“I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you in that audition room. You were so goddamned focused on getting the keyboard settings just right.” His lips quirk in a slight smile. “I loved you even though I was terrified of everything I felt for you. My last girlfriend turned into someone I didn’t like. All she cared about was status and money. And then she became someone I despised. When I broke up with her, she roofied one of my best friends and made me think the two of them had sex.”
“That’s why you hit Milo?”
He nods. “The fucker more often than not deserves to be slapped upside the head, but I know deep down he’s not a bad guy. He just irritates me.”
“I noticed.”
“I hated how easy you were with him. How the two of you hit it off so fast—”
“As friends. Milo and I are just friends. He’s like my annoying big brother. He and Finn and Chris…none of them are you.”
“They’re a whole lot nicer than I am.”
I trail both hands up his chest to his jaw, cupping it, soaking in the warmth that surges in a wave through my body when his eyes close and tension releases from him.
“They’re not you. I don’t feel about them the way I do about you.”
Bright-blue eyes pop open and lock on mine.
“How do you feel about me?”
