Page 22 of Untying the Knot
DrinkWithMe:And I have twelve thousand likes and over two hundred comments. Just checking your post *licks finger, flips paper over on clipboard* and ah, yes, it says that you have eight comments and fifty likes. Soo . . . I think one of us is doing something right.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:So do you want me to start posting my drinks?
DrinkWithMe:Uh, dude, try to be original. I know it might be difficult, but desperation for likes doesn’t look good on you.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:I’m not desperate for likes. The only reason I even thought about it is because you keep harping on me.
DrinkWithMe:Are you calling me a nagging wife?
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Wife? Isn’t that stretching it a bit far?
DrinkWithMe:I don’t know. I’ve slept over at your house. You paid for my meal. You told me all about how you like to spread legs. We’re practically married at this point.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Hell, has the dating circuit really changed that much since I’ve been out of it? Didn’t know I could marry that quickly with two interactions.
DrinkWithMe:Oh yeah, real hook, line, and sinker out there. One date = engaged. Second date = old married couple. Welcome to the world of sexual social engagements.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Eh, I think I’ll crawl back into my hole. Thanks.
DrinkWithMe:Have you really not dated anyone in a while?
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Let’s just say dinner with you the other night was the closest thing I had to a date in about a year. And that wasn’t a date, that was . . . hell, I don’t know what that was.
DrinkWithMe:I don’t know. You left me satisfied and wanting more.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Then you must be easy to please.
DrinkWithMe:If only.
* * *
DrinkWithMe:So . . . what is this game of baseball you play?
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Never heard of it?
DrinkWithMe:Sports have never tickled my tits. Now balls, on the other hand . . . hey-o!
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Tickled your tits, huh? What exactly does that? Besides balls of course.
DrinkWithMe:Glad you asked. Three things in particular: tongues, fingers, and peanut butter.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Do tongues and peanut butter ever come into play together?
DrinkWithMe:Only once and it was an absolute disaster. The guy gagged from peanut butter mouth, dry-heaved, and I ended up running across the house, raccoon tail butt plug dangling out my ass as I grabbed him water.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Can we discuss the raccoon tail butt plug?
DrinkWithMe:The guy was a bit of a freak. It lasted a month. After the peanut butter fiasco, we called it quits. I returned the butt plug and went on my way.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:Now that’s what you should be taking pictures of . . . butt plugs.
DrinkWithMe:Yeah, so I can have pervs like you sliding into my DMs daily? No, thank you. I get enough of that by selling pics of my feet.
Ryot.Bisley.Balls:As I recall, YOU were the one that slid into MY DMs.
DrinkWithMe:For education, not because I wanted to. I think it will do you a great deal of service to remember that.
* * *
