Page 145 of Untying the Knot
“You’re kidding, right? She’s told me I make her happy. She’s told me that she loves me. That she wants to be with me, so what the hell changed between when I left and when I came back? What have you been saying to her?”
“Just what she’s been thinking—that you weren’t there for her when she needed you the most.”
“I couldn’t fucking leave!” I shout. “For fuck’s sake, Nichole. I don’t have a regular job like everyone else. I can’t just decide when I want to show up and when I don’t want to show up. I don’t have vacation days that I can just use whenever the hell I want to. It doesn’t work like that. And she knew that. She knew my schedule was brutal, but I told her I would be there for her in other ways. And I was until she started pushing me away. And it looks like you didn’t help in that matter. It almost seems like you assisted in the pushing. Why?”
“She doesn’t need you, Ryot.”
I step back and stare at her, and that’s when all the pieces start coming together. “You . . . you mean, she doesn’t needyouwhen I’m around. Am I right?”
She rolls her eyes. “Please, I’m not that petty.”
“You’re mad that she’s been spending more time with me, aren’t you? That she went to me for comfort.”
“Grow up, Ryot.” She picks up her phone again.
“Unbelievable,” I say while shaking my head. “You know what, Nichole? If you were her true friend, someone who actually cared about her, not about yourself, you would put her happiness first. And you know damn well her happiness is with me.” I move away from the living room and grow closer to the entryway. I spin around one more time and say, “I used to think you were on my side, that you wanted us to work out. I don’t know what has happened since, but it’s disappointing.Youare disappointing.”
“Could say the same about you,” she mutters but doesn’t look up from her phone.
So . . . I leave.
* * *
Ryot:I know you asked me to leave, and you think we’re broken up, but I’m going to tell you again, over and over until you hear me. I’m not leaving your side, Myla. You matter to me. You must know that.
Ryot:Morning, baby. Wanted to tell you how much I love you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you the way you needed me, but I’m here. I’m always here with you. You just need to let me in.
Ryot:Remember the day you came to watch me play baseball? The first game ever? Do you remember our conversation in my car after the game? I told you I would always be honest with you. When I say you come first, you do. In my mind, you’re always fucking first, and even though there are times when my job won’t allow me to hold your hand or cradle you to my chest like I know you need, you are eating up the space in my head. That’s because I love you. Always have, always will.
Ryot:I’m stopping by to drop off some of your favorite soup. I’ll leave it outside so you don’t have to face me if you’re not ready. Love you, baby.
Ryot:I stopped by your restaurant tonight, after the game, in the hopes to at least catch sight of you, but they told me you don’t work there anymore. Myla, I would love to just talk. Please, just let me in.
Ryot:We made the playoffs. The boys are off celebrating, but I didn’t have it in me. I want to celebrate with you. Text me back. Maybe we can go grab some Drumsticks. Or some Cold Stone. You don’t have to twist my arm to splurge on the good stuff for you.
Ryot:Off to Atlanta. I left a package on your doorstep. It’s just some stuff in case you decide to watch the games. Some of your favorite popcorn, chocolates, and some Bobbies underwear. I’m not expecting you to wear it but, you know, if you did, I wouldn’t be opposed. Love you, Myla.
Ryot:Getting ready for the game, and one of the guys walked in after a long night out, and I swear to Christ he smelled like you. He was wearing some girl’s perfume, and it’s what you wear. I was turned on and confused all at the same time. You’re the only one I’m telling this to.
Ryot:Okay, I told Walker, and now he believes I’m in love with Charles, who was wearing the perfume. This is what happens when you consume my brain.
Ryot:I miss you, Myla. So much so that I looked through pictures of us tonight. Have I told you how much your smile lights up a room? Well, it does. I want to see that smile again. I want to see you happy. Please, Myla . . . please text me back. I love you.
ChapterNineteen
RYOT
Present day . . .
“You’re jealous,” I mouth to Myla from across the room while the guys and I hover over a plate of crackers and two bottles of white wine that the waitstaff so kindly brought us.
The first dip was interesting. The second, third, and fourth were marvelous.
And as we stood over here, dipping crackers into glasses of wine to our heart’s content, Myla and the girls sat at the table, drinking their red with the good cheese.
Yup, they were able to get more as well.
And sure, would I have preferred to sit at the cheese table? Yes. Clearly, that’s the better table because that cheese melts in your mouth.
