Page 12 of Untying the Knot
“And what exactly is my idea?” I ask.
“Tell her you will give her what she wants, but in exchange, she needs to pretend to be with you for JP’s wedding because you don’t want to stir up drama for your friend before they get married. I’m sure she’ll say yes, so then that buys you some time. You can be there for her and hopefully get to the root of the problem while she ‘pretends’ to help you by staying married.”
“Hey, that’s a pretty good idea,” Banner says, perking up. “Shit, you should be glad I invited him.”
I hate to admit it, but Banner is right. It’s not that bad of an idea.
I scratch the side of my face. “But that’s three weeks. I don’t think she’ll buy it.”
“That’s why you need to act like you’re giving her what she wants,” Penn says. “Don’t pressure her, don’t try to win her back, but rather . . . observe. Learn. Figure out how you can fix this.”
“Yes,” Banner adds while lightly knocking the table. “She lowers her defenses when she doesn’t feel threatened. If she believes you’re giving her what she wants, if you’re indifferent to the whole thing, then hopefully, she’ll relax and open up a bit more. You know that’s how she works, man. Think about her past. She’s scarred from people leaving her life constantly—from her parents’ marriage, and from being bullied most of her childhood. She doesn’t process her feelings normally, so if you back off and let her believe you’re giving her what she wants, then maybe she’ll concede something, and you’ll get to the root of the problem.”
I think it over and know Banner is right. Her troubled past has bitten me in the ass several times throughout our life together. I’ve been more than happy to work through it with her, but I’ve only been able to navigate through it once I get her to open up. This is no exception, though the stakes are much higher. I can’t lose Myla. I love her. She’s my whole world.
“So what does this have to do with the wedding?” I ask.
Penn places his phone on the table and pulls up his drawing app. He makes a line across the screen and then puts an X at the end. “This is the wedding week.” He makes a slash on the other end. “This is you, now.” He makes two marks between. “This is the time you get her to think you don’t care anymore. She wants a divorce, fine, here’s the divorce.” He circles the X. “And this is the time when you ‘fake’ being a happy couple still. This is when you make your move. This is when you show her how good you are together, how much you appreciate her. This is when you woo her and take all the things you observed over the past two weeks and lay it down.” Banner slow claps.
“This is brilliant.” No. It’s horrible. Why the hell would I try to convince my wife that I don’t love her anymore?Wouldn’t that be the final nail in the coffin that is our marriage? And hurt Myla even more than I have done?
“You don’t think it’s a bit extreme? Shouldn’t I just be able to talk to her about this?”
“This is Myla we’re talking about,” Banner says. “She doesn’t operate on the same wavelength as others. When she’s hurt, she feels that hurt down to her bones. You might want to solve this like two mature adults looking for a solution, but Myla doesn’t work like that.”
Penn swats my shoulder. “And who’s to say this is actually what she wants? This could be a knee-jerk reaction.”
“Divorce is a bit extreme for a knee-jerk reaction,” I say. “She might be walking to the beat of her own drum, but she wouldn’t do anything this harsh just for the hell of it.”
“Which is why this plan will work.” Penn taps his phone.
“I don’t know.” I waver back and forth.
“What do you have to lose?” Banner asks. “Your wife? Well, man, you’re already halfway there.”
“Trust me, this will work,” Penn says with unbridled confidence.
I lean back in my chair and let out a large sigh. It’s frightening that I’m even considering this plan, given the absurdity of it, but then again, I don’t think I have many options.
They’re right. If I tell her I’ll give her a divorce, she won’t be so defensive.
She may be more open to talking to me when she’s not defensive.
When she’s open to talking, that’s when I’ll figure out what’s going on.
This should work . . . right?
Only one way to find out.
“Okay . . . I’ll do it.”
“Thatta boy.” Penn slaps me on the shoulder. “Aren’t you excited? You have a plan.”
“Yeah, maybe . . .” I twist my coffee cup. “But . . .” I sigh. “I’m fucking pissed.”
“Oh, wasn’t expecting that,” Banner says as he props his arm on the table. “Why are you pissed?”
“Because.” I look up at both of them. “Out of everything Myla and I have been through, rather than trying to save our marriage, she’s throwing it away.” She’s thought about this for a long time if she’s already seen a lawyer, discussed the split of assets, and had the papers drawn up.As if I mean nothing to her at all.“This is how she wants to end it?” I shake my head. “It’s fucking bullshit.”
