Page 50 of Untying the Knot
Banner:Would I be able to score some pancake mix? I didn’t say anything shitty about the house paint you chose.
Nola:No, because you would just give it to Penn. I know how you work. No one is getting pancake mix.
Banner:What if I disassociate myself from Penn?
Penn:Dude!
Banner:Come on . . . it’s the sacred pancake mix. You must understand the position I’m in.
Ryot:Can we please fucking focus! I’m being bamboozled by my wife, and I need some help.
Penn:He used bamboozled, must be serious.
Banner:Bamboozled is most definitely only used when serious.
Nola:Why am I part of this? You didn’t listen to me last night, so clearly, I’m of no use to you.
Banner:What happened last night?
Nola:He lost his temper because Nichole is in town and basically told Myla she’s not allowed to be with any men and then . . . he touched her.
Penn:Touched her as in . . . touched her?
Banner:Nichole’s in town? Did she ask about me?
Ryot:I haven’t spoken to her. We’re really not on the best terms, in case you forgot about that.
Banner:I haven’t. Still, let me know if she wants to hang.
Penn:The balls on this guy.
Banner:No shame.
Nola:Although this has been entertaining, I’m sort of interested in the bamboozlement.
Penn:Agreed. Lay it on us.
Ryot:You sure you don’t want to talk about pancake mix?
Banner:Dude, we’ve moved on. Don’t be dramatic.
Penn:Yeah, pancake mix is old news. Tell us how Myla is bamboozling you.
Ryot:So as Nola said, last night wasn’t my best showing. I lost my temper and, well, did some stupid shit. She capitalized on that this morning. Let’s just say she set ground rules. Took away my car—long story—and has made my life a nightmare. She has both cars, all the food, the TV, and my lucky running shorts.
Banner:Dear GOD! Not the shorts.
Penn:I think my taint just shriveled up.
Nola:Even I know the importance of the shorts.
Ryot:So I have no food, no transportation, no TV, no shorts, and I know there are some hidden things she’s waiting to spring on me. The situation has just gone from surprised anger to designed pettiness.
Penn:Ah, so you’re looking for help on how to retaliate. Am I reading you right?
Ryot:Precisely.
Nola:Why do I feel like this is not a good idea?
