Page 186 of Untying the Knot
She nods and folds her arms over her chest. “So you think this is it for us? That’s really what you’re thinking about right now? Our marriage?”
Fuck!
“No, Myla, that’s not . . . I mean, I’m worried about that, yes. But I’m also worried about you, about Nichole navigating all of this.”
“Or are you worried about yourself?”
I can see it in her eyes. She’s distancing and pulling away. She’s becoming emotionless and frigid because she doesn’t know how else to deal with her feelings. And whatever happens next, I know it’s because she’s having a hard time processing what’s going on with Nichole. Losing another person in her life is not something she’ll handle in a healthy way.
“I’m worried aboutyou, Myla.” I take a step forward, moving slowly. “I’m worried about how you feel and how you’re dealing with everything.”
Her eyes well up, and she shakes her head. “How do you think I’m doing?”
My palms start to sweat. “Hurt. Scared. Fearful. Uncertain.”
“To name a few.” She glances away.
“How can I help?” I ask her.
“You can’t.” She stares out the window of the penthouse. “So maybe it’s best if you just . . . go.”
And there it is. I knew it was coming, but it still doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting. Now the question is, how do I handle this?
“Myla, I know you’re hurting, baby, but I’m not going to leave, not when you need someone to lean on. So why don’t we just take a shower, get ready, grab the donuts, and go see Nichole?”
“I don’t need you holding my hand,” she says. “I can do this by myself. You don’t even like Nichole, so why do you even care?”
“I like Nichole,” I say. “We’ve had our differences, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel something for her. And you’re, well . . . you’re special to me.” I was about to call her my wife, but I think we all know sidestepping that was a smart choice. “And I don’t like to see you hurting. It’s important to me to be there for you.”
“Oh, so now you care?”
I grind my molars together and try to hold back my tongue. I know she’s attempting to keep me at arm’s length. It’s so obvious, and even though I know she’s doing it on purpose to protect herself, it doesn’t mean I’m not hurt or annoyed by it.
“I don’t want to argue with you. Let’s just get ready for the day, okay? We can talk about the semantics of everything later. I just want to get you to Nichole so you can be with her.”
I’m ready for her to tell me to fuck off or to keep arguing, but instead, she lightly nods and then moves toward the bedroom and into the bathroom.
I let out a deep exhale.
Fuck, this is going to be harder than I expected.
* * *
MYLA
“Where’s Ryot?”Nichole asks as she shakily lifts her donut to her mouth and takes a bite.
I shrug. “Somewhere in the hospital.”
“Why? Shouldn’t he be in here?”
“No. Why would he be in here?”
Nichole gives me a look. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing you need to worry about. Now let’s talk about something else, like your treatment.”
“Do you really think that’s something I want to talk about?”
