Page 87 of Silent Secrets

Kai

WatchingAdalineleadHadley from the room, my world crumbles around me. I know she will never forgive us for what we’ve done—I saw the hurt in her eyes when she looked at us. And I can’t even blame her because we’d betrayed her. Why hadn’t we just told her the truth? She might not have trusted us at first, but at least we would’ve stood a chance.

But now? She’s done with us.

I’m surprised when the first tear hits my cheek, reaching up to wipe it away, but they don’t stop. My hand falls to my chest and I grasp at it, trying to relieve the pain that radiates inside of me. My father has beat me half to death before and it has never hurt like this. Nothing has ever hurt as much or as deeply as seeing the pain in her eyes and then watching her walk away.

The pain gives way to anger. When Caiden’s hand brushes over my arm, I push him away. “Don’t touch me.”

I can’t deal with his touches, with him trying to make me feel better. I don’t want to feel better. I deserve to feel like shit—we all do. We fucked up, and this is the consequences of our actions. But also—how could they not have told me about the meeting? They’d left me so unprepared, I did not know what would be on that video.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the meeting?” I bite out as I turn to my friends. “I would have told you that we should tell her. We hid this from her for too long, but the three of you made this worse by not warning me. I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you’ve caused me to lose.”

But even as angry as I am with myself and with my friends, I know my words are coming from a place of anger. I think I’ll be able to forgive them—maybe. But that forgiveness won’t be coming tonight.

But there are two people who deserve my anger more than the four of us. There are two people who will still need to pay for their actions and I will do whatever I need to do to make sure that they pay for hurting Hadley. She may no longer want me, but I will make sure that she’s safe—always. Even if I have to hurt myself by watching her with others. It’s what she deserves. It’s what I deserve.

“Kai,” Caiden begs, stepping in front of me. His pain is all over his face, and I know my words are making Hadley walking away worse for him… But I need to feel what I’m feeling, and he needs to feel what he’s feeling. And we can’t do that together—not this time.

I chew on the inside of my cheek to keep from reaching out to him. I can see that he’s hurting just as much as I am, but this is our karma. I won’t allow him to make me feel better, and I won’t make him feel better. We made our beds, and now we will lie in them.

I shake my head as I step away from Caiden, eyes flitting to Marcos and Hunter before turning back to him. “We deserve to hurt. We did this to her. This is on us. Us, my father, and Gabe.”

“There’s no need to be so dramatic,” Hunter sighs, but I can hear the pain in his voice as well. He’d finally let his walls down and admitted how he felt about Hadley—something that I know Caiden and Marcos had never expected him to do after Yana—and now he’s having to deal with the pain of being rejected.

Good.

“You can go fuck yourself, Hunter. I know that you care about her too, and that you’re hurting just as much. But I’m telling you right now, if you go back to our fathers to try to take her down, you’ll be dealing with me. Gabe and Kam will pay for what they’ve done to my angel. I will keep her safe, even if she never knows it. Even if she hates me for the rest of her life.”

Without another word, I head for the door. I ignore the three of them calling after me because I don’t want to hear what they have to say. It doesn’t matter. I’ve made my mind up and now I have plans to make.

I swipe at the tears on my face before I step back into the ballroom, not meeting anyone’s eyes as I head for the door. Anyone whose eyes linger for any amount of time will be able to tell that I’ve been crying, but I don’t care. Let them think what they want. Their opinions don’t matter. The only person whose opinion matters right now is Hadley’s.

I know that I hurt Caiden by walking away from him, but I’m just not ready to be with him yet. This won’t break us—there’s too much between us for that to happen—but it will change us. It’ll change us because this will change me.

Caiden was the first person who I ever loved, and Hadley was the second. I never even had the chance to tell her how I feel, and now I never will. From here on out there will be a Hadley shaped hole in my heart. I will eventually learn how to live with that, but until then, I don’t think that I can let Caiden get close. It will hurt him and me, but this is something that I have to do. Just like I need to make Gabe and my father pay.

I’m the one that they’ve always underestimated, but they should be scared. Because I’m coming for them. I’ll do whatever I need to do to make sure that Hadley is safe and happy.

Even if I have to kill them.