Page 19 of Timid (Lark Cove 2)

How many years had I waited? How many months had I wasted? All I’d ever wanted was for Jackson to take notice, or at least call me by the correct first name.

I’d just wanted one chance to see if there might be something real between us. I wasn’t delusional. The chance of us falling in love, getting married and having babies was slim. Who knew if we’d work as a couple? But I would have settled for friendship.

Now even friendship was impossible.

A breeze blew across the back of the garage and goose bumps broke out on my forearms. Still, I didn’t budge. The smart thing to do was to turn around and go inside. But my feet were glued to the wood underneath.

I opened my mouth to bid him good night, but nothing came out. So I clamped it shut with a click that echoed between us.

That made Jackson’s face split in a wide smile, like he’d won the battle of silence.

I narrowed my eyes. As of two weeks ago, that smile had lost all of its power.

Well, not all. But a lot.

He crossed his arms over his chest, mirroring my stance with a dare behind those blue eyes. Then he ran his gaze up and down my body.

I loathed the shivers it left in its wake. It was intimidating, having his bulky, brutish frame tower over me. But still, I said nothing. Instead, I let my eyes wander, giving him the same languid perusal as he’d given me.

Jackson always wore jeans that were faded in just the right places to highlight the apex of his thick thighs. They molded over the best ass in Montana. He had on his standard black boots with the scuffed, square toes. The man must buy white T-shirts in bulk because they were always the same. They fit perfectly over washboard abs and chiseled biceps.

Most days, he covered the T-shirt with an open plaid shirt. My favorites were the blue and green ones. They had shiny pearl snaps instead of buttons. In the summer, the plaid was cotton. In the winter, flannel. Though, regardless of the season, he always had his sleeves rolled up, revealing his tanned forearms.

Today, Jackson was in a light blue plaid and it matched the color of his eyes. Normally, the plaid was left hanging open, but tonight he’d tucked his shirt into his narrow waistband.

He was breathtaking. He was more handsome now than the first day I’d seen him.

And here I was, in my jammies with bedhead.

The breeze picked up again and I was suddenly very aware of my nipples. I didn’t need to look down to know they were on high beams underneath my cotton, V-neck tee, which had been washed thin.

Jackson shifted his weight again, then uncrossed his arms and sighed. “You’re not going to tell me what I’m missing here, are you?”

I blinked once for no.

“Fine.” His scowl was endearing. “Then I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

Without a word, I whipped around and scurried back inside. I used my foot to kick the door closed behind me so I wouldn’t have to see him again. Then my shoulders collapsed, rolling in on themselves as I let myself breathe again.

Jackson’s boots thudded down the steps, and when I was sure he’d made it to the bottom, I went to my bed and flopped down on the mattress.

“I will not go to the window. I will not go to the window.”

I went to the window.

And I watched from behind the sheer curtain as Jackson crossed my backyard, stopping once to gaze up to my garage apartment before striding through the playground on his way home.

“You missed your chance,” I whispered. “I have to let you go.”

After Jackson left, I went back to bed only to toss and turn all night while I waited for my alarm to go off. Then I dragged myself into the shower and got ready for work. Caffeine, Snickers and chaos fueled my Sunday at work. After a hectic day of saying good-bye to one group of campers and welcoming the next, I should have slept like a log on Sunday night.

But thoughts of Jackson plagued my mind once again, keeping me up most of a second night. So by Monday morning, I was practically a walking zombie.

Like all Mondays, the day started off with a counselor meeting at the camp, so for an hour, I was able to avoid all thoughts of Jackson. After the counselors and I talked through our activities for the current day and the next, I chugged a huge cup of coffee. Then I spent some time in the office making sure all of the intake forms for this week’s campers were ticked and tied. It took me twice as long as normal because I kept thinking back to Jackson on my doorstep.

Finally, I finished in the office and scarfed down a Snickers bar before joining a group of kids in the main lodge to make dream catchers to hang above their bunk beds. The kids always gave me energy, so I fed off them for the rest of the morning.

They were the reason I woke up with a smile most mornings. The kids were the reason I didn’t care that my job would never make me rich. I lived for my week-by-week summers until the season ended.