Page 82 of Dotted Lines (Runaway 5)

“I’d better get August his treat.” She pointed to the store, but the crease between her eyebrows told me she didn’t want to go inside.

“What does he want? I’ll grab it.”

She opened her wallet, but I waved it off. “I’ve got it. I’m going to get some water too.”

“Skittles or Swedish Fish or Starbursts or Twizzlers. He loves fruity candy.”

“Got it.” Then I got the hell away.

Fuck. Maybe we should say our goodbyes tonight and I should go home. That would be the smart thing to do. Call it over and done with.

Instead, I bought August’s candy and listened to him tell me about which color combinations of Skittles were the best as we drove to the hotel. Then we went swimming for a few hours while Clara looked on from a lounge chair.

Entertainment at dinner was once again provided by the five-year-old, and when we returned to the hotel, I had this sinking feeling that I wasn’t going to see him again. In just a few days, August had made a lasting impression.

I’d miss dinners without a nonstop stream of interesting facts that he learned at school. I’d miss the excitement that seemed to pour from every word.

But if I couldn’t control these feelings about Clara, then I had to cut off contact. I’d done it for twelve years, so what was a lifetime more?

No Clara meant no Gus. I’d miss out on seeing him as a teenager. A young man. An adult. There was a twinge in my chest as he pushed the elevator button. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his smile and his small hands and the slight waves in his dark-blond hair.

Was this why Clara was always looking to him? Because she knew how fast he would change?

My throat was dry as we stepped into the elevator and rode to our floor. As Gus raced down the hallway toward the room, my steps dragged like I was wearing lead-filled shoes.

Clara’s steps seemed even shorter and heavier than mine.

This was goodbye. There was the trip to the airport in the morning, but that would be full of logistics, baggage and a rushed farewell.

“Can we rent a movie?” August asked, standing beside their door.

“Sure.” Clara nodded.

“Want to watch with us?” he asked me.

I opened my mouth to let him down gently, but then Clara answered for me. “Yeah. Watch with us.”

“Okay.” Reckless, but that was my defining trait this week.

So we went inside her room, the three of us settling on the couch in the common room in her suite, with August in the middle, and rented a movie.

Gus fell asleep halfway through the musical cartoon.

“This is more excitement than he’s used to,” Clara said, turning down the volume on the TV.

“He’s such a great kid. Maybe the best I’ve ever met.”

She smiled down at him as he slumped into her side. “He’s pretty fantastic, isn’t he?”

“I have to tell you something,” I said. “Probably should have admitted it sooner.”

“What?”

“I looked you up on Facebook.”

Her eyes widened. “You did? When?”

“About six years ago. I was curious. Temptation got the better of me and I wanted to know that you were okay. You didn’t have much posted but a few pictures. I saw one of you and him together. You looked happy. In love. It was hard to see.”