Page 90 of The Birthday List (Maysen Jar 1)

His hand fell away from my face and I motioned toward the hallway. “I’d better go.”

“Okay.” He followed me into the living room where I grabbed my purse and backpack from his camel leather couch. “Are we still on for the paint fight on Sunday?”

“Yeah. I’ve got everything ready to go. Molly, Finn and the kids are going to be there. And you’ll finally get to meet Jimmy.”

“I can’t wait.” He escorted me to the door, opening it up so I could step out onto his porch.

The red brick exterior of his house was trimmed with white. The square pillars around the porch were thick and adorned with gables. A weaving vine snaked up the far corner to the second floor. All that was missing were two white rocking chairs and this porch would be the perfect place to watch children play in the front yard.

“See you Sunday.” Cole bent down and kissed my cheek.

“Bye.” I stepped outside but paused, looking over my shoulder. “Thank you.” I swallowed hard. “Thank you for kissing me. For being the one.”

His eyes softened. “It will always be me.”

I hope so. I gave him a tiny smile before turning and walking to my car. With a quick wave, I pulled away from the curb and drove straight home. But instead of taking the shower that I’d planned, I went inside and flopped on my bed. Then I grabbed Jamie’s picture off my nightstand.

I stroked his face in the frame.

His smiling face, frozen under the glass, soothed the ache in my chest. Jamie would never want me to be sad. He wouldn’t want me to be alone. If he couldn’t be here with me, then he’d want me to find happiness.

I knew it down to my bones.

I set down the frame and dug into my purse next to me on the bed. With Jamie’s journal and a pen in hand, I flipped to his Jell-O page and checked the box.

We’re almost done, Jamie. Just a few things left to do.

I closed the journal and hugged it to my chest. I’d cried myself out at Cole’s, so I just smiled.

Was Jamie somewhere, looking down and smiling too? Was he glad that I was doing the things he’d wanted to most? I hoped that this list was his way of guiding me through the grief. I hoped that this was his way of helping me say good-bye.

I hoped that this was his way of leading me to a new life.

One filled with smiles. With laughter.

One filled with love.

Two days later, the green had vanished from my skin and I was at Jimmy’s apartment, filling up biodegradable water balloons with paint. I’d spent the last thirty minutes working up the courage to tell him about me and Cole so he wouldn’t be surprised when we arrived at the park later this afternoon.

“So, um . . . I invited Cole to do this paint fight with us.”

“Yeah, I know.” His fingers were covered in blue paint as he tied a balloon closed. “I remember when you told me the same a week ago. Are you worried I’m getting senile or something? Because I’m not. No matter what that asshole Randall says, my head’s as clear as it was when I was your age, got it?”

“Got it.” I giggled, tying off my red balloon and dropping it in the tub with the others. “But I wanted to tell you something else. Cole’s not just a friend helping on Jamie’s truck. We’re kind of dating.”

“You really do think I’m senile.” He chuckled. “Relax, Poppy. I figured as much.”

“You did?” I gaped at him as he filled another balloon.

He nodded. “You talk about him a lot. Seems like you spend a lot of time together. Molly told me he comes into the restaurant most nights. I’m old, not blind. I assumed there was something more going on with you two.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

He shook his head, dropping the paint bottle in his hands to give me his full attention. “I just want you to be happy. And if you like this guy, I’m all for it.”

“You think it’s okay to start dating again?”

Maybe it was because Jimmy and Jamie had been so close, but I needed Jimmy’s blessing. It was the closest thing I had to Jamie’s blessing. I needed him to tell me that it was okay to date Cole.