Page 46 of Damiano De Luca (The Five Syndicates)
My lips quirked up, and I finally relaxed. “You ask, I answer.”
“If only that were really true…”
I ate in silence for a moment, pausing to study Sally. My teeth dug into my lower lip as I considered whether or not to take up her offer for advice. I mean, who else could I ask? Maman would just tell me to lower my walls, accompanied by a litany of other things I didn’t want to hear.
Standing, I brought my plate to the sink and washed it before returning to my seat. “Have you ever been afraid to let your guard down?”
“Around a guy?”
I thought about it. “Yes, but also around everyone, I guess.”
Who was I kidding? My walls had more guards than Fort Knox, and living trapped behind confines of my own making wasn’t living. Happiness over the past ten years had been a lie I deceived myself into believing.
“I think most people have that fear of letting their guard down, especially if they’ve gone through something difficult in the past. Take me and Eric, for instance. Dating feels nearly impossible after the divorce. Every time I convince myself to go on a date, I always feel like the relationship is destined to end, which is a horrible state of mind to enter a relationship in. Nothing can succeed if you don’t give it a chance to.”
“So, what do you do?”
“You take a leap, knowing you’re strong enough to catch yourself if no one else is the
re to.”
“I have a friend who used to date a guy ten years ago, and she recently met him again…”
“Your friend…” Sally started, clearly not believing this friend existed. “How did she feel when she saw him again?”
“Like the world flipped upside down, butterfly clips suddenly came back in style, people still communicated via AOL Instant Messenger, and floppy disks were the new biggest invention of our lifetime.”
“So, her feelings never ebbed?”
“I guess not,” I allowed, because who could get over Damiano De Luca? I was only human.
“Why didn’t she try to make things work the first time?”
“She was scared.”
“Of?”
“The boy’s dad approached my friend and threatened to”—I considered how truthful I could be before settling for a minor substitution—“disown his son if she continued their relationship.”
“So, she left.”
“Yep.”
“And she regretted it.”
“Every day since.”
“And the dad?”
“What about him?”
“Is he still a problem?”
“He stopped being a problem less than a year after she left.”
“Then, why did she stay away?”
“She didn’t explain to the boy why she left. Instead, she created a fake fight and fled, because she was afraid he’d stop her if she told him the truth.”
