Page 26 of Renata Vitali (The Five Syndicates)
Our banter marked familiar territory, which he didn’t deserve. He’d hurt my feelings, which meant I cared, and I couldn’t care. His opinions shouldn’t have mattered to me. They were only words, and he was a pitstop, not the finish line. He hated me; I hated him. That was the familiar territory that should have superseded this weird friendship that had burgeoned between us.
“You’re mad at me.”
Did it matter? This arrangement would be over when I turned eighteen in a few weeks and could flee without legal repercussions.
“Anger would require emotions, and I don’t have any of those where you are concerned.” I cocked a brow and met his eyes.
They were so talented at guarding things. At school, he played off his dad’s onslaught of abuse well. But I saw the real him. The rage simmered on a loop, and I knew I would never figure out how to extinguish the flame. A part of me wanted to watch him self-destruct, just so I could be the one to pick up the pieces.
Some knight I was.
“Okay, I deserved that, but in my defense—”
“Those words are usually the predecessor to some lackluster excuse—almost always offensive, and one hundred percent likely to piss me off. You’re better off stopping now.”
He closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “I was an asshole out there, but it’s better that way.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’ll get worse if they know we’re friends. Plus, you can handle a few schoolyard bullies. I have no doubt about that, though I do doubt they can handle you.”
My lips twitched, and I knew we were both thinking about the elbow I had swung at Laura. Violence was never funny, but I couldn’t help myself. Damian’s excuse could have been as simple as a De Luca protecting one of his own. I could understand that and part ways without spending more than a few sleepless nights dwelling over it.
But here he was, in front of me, and that I didn’t understand.
“Why are you here, Damsel?”
“You have until the bell rings.” He slid something across the table to me.
I glanced down at it.
A phone.
The library had been empty when I entered, but I still checked before clutching onto the contraband device. My mouth opened and hung there, unsure of what to say in this situation. Did I thank him for the phone or toss it back at him, offended at the idea that he could buy my forgiveness?
I didn’t want to do either, so instead, I unlocked the phone, pulled up my email account, and sent the email I had drafted earlier before logging out and deleting the history. We had five minutes left until the bell rung, and I didn’t know where this left us.
It wasn’t like I thought we’d figure things out in five minutes, but not trying didn’t feel like an option. I’d meant it when I likened us to kindred souls, chasing away loneliness in each other. I didn’t want to lose that.
I only had a few weeks to go before I was old enough to leave Devils Ridge on my own. Damian shouldn’t have mattered, but he did.
“Princess?”
Oh. I’d been staring. I slid the phone to him.
He stood and pocketed the phone. “See you tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Yeah. Tonight.” He slid the chair back under the table. “This doesn’t count as our library date.”
Date, he’d called it.
Shut up, stupid pitter-pattering heart.
It is not a shame to be deceived; but it is to stay in the deception.
Olivia
