Page 97 of Niccolaio Andretti (The Five Syndicates)
“What? Of course, I do.”
“No, you don’t,” she insists, her tone adamant.
“What are you talking about?”
“I…” she hesitates. “I’m happy here, Minka. I love you so, so much, but I don’t want to leave. I don’t feel the same way I used to. It took time, but I like it here now. The school I go to is so much better than my old one; people are friends with me; the teachers are nice to me here; I don’t have to watch you each half a packet of cup noodles while you spend all of your money on my food; and honestly, I know it’s better for the both of us if I stay here.”
I think I whimper, but I don’t know for sure. I’m too startled by her words to pay attention to anything but her. “But—”
“I like it here, Minka. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” she says, always sounding far wiser than her years.
I guess that’s what happens when life forces you to grow up too fast. Did I sound as wise as her when I was her age? Because I certainly don’t feel wise now.
She continues, “It just means that staying here is right for me.”
And for the first time since I started this soul sucking gold digging plan of mine, I’m questioning everything. What if Mina’s right? What if she’s better off there instead of with me?
Oh, God.
Did I just waste all these years—and my sanity—trying to gold dig? I feel a tear stream down my cheek, and I hastily say a goodbye to Mina before ending the call, because I don’t want her to see me like this.
Weak.
Broken.
Pathetic.
From behind me, strong arms wrap around me, and I sag into them. Deflated, but thankful for the contact.
“I’m sorry,” Niccolaio says.
“For what? You didn’t make Mina say those words.”
“For being an ass earlier when you were just trying to help. I just… I needed time to process everything, and I’m not used to letting others help me.” He hesitates. “And Minka… Your sister is right.”
I tense, and it’s a warning for him to stop.
Now.
Even nice people have their limits, and no one has ever accused me of being nice.
But Niccolaio doesn’t heed my body’s warning. Instead, he continues, “Gold digging isn’t the solution to your problems. In fact, it is your problem. You’re smart, beautiful, funny, feisty, and so fucking amazing. Goddamn, Minka, you’re perfect. I truly mean that.
“You could be happy. You could be free. But instead, you’re angry and frustrated, and you hate what you’re doing with your life. I’m not saying Mina was ever a burden, but I am saying that maybe you should listen to her when she says she should stay and accept the positive life changes that’ll come with that.” He takes a deep breath. “Maybe you two are better living apart from each other.”
“How can you say that?” I throw my hands up in frustration. “That’s my sister you’re talking about!”
“And I have a brother, who I’ve been away from for years.”
“But that’s different. Don’t be delusional, Niccolaio. He put a hit out on you.”
“It wasn’t always like this.”
I snort, unbelieving. I’ve been around Niccolaio long enough to know he’s intolerable most of the time… like now. If I had the money and you asked me a month or so ago, perhaps I would have put a hit out on him, too.
“Look, Minka. This isn’t about me. This is about you. Not me. Not Mina. You. You have to stop focusing on other people and start focusing on yourself. You think you’re this awful person, but you’re not. In fact, you’re the opposite. You’re selfless. Too selfless. And you’ve given your life up for a person who is now telling you that you no longer have to. Maybe you should listen to her.” His voice drops. “You deserve more than this. More than gold digging.”
I ignore everything else he said and focus on the last part, because part of me fears that he’s right about everything. “It’s my body. I can do what I want with it.”
