Page 50 of Niccolaio Andretti (The Five Syndicates)
“And you forgive me? Just like that?”
“Why not? I helped you. You helped me. And you haven’t been mean to me ever since. I don’t think you will be in the future either. So, what’s the point of us hating each other? It kind of drained my energy avoiding you back then.”
I snort, because she may have avoided me, but I avoided her, too.
And she’s right.
She has a point, but at the same time, extending an invitation to her wedding goes beyond the call of civility. We can be friendly without the wedding invitation.
In fact…
“We can be nice without being friends.”
She laughs. “Minka, just accept the damn offer of friendship. If you haven’t noticed, Nella and what’s her face are gone. You probably will never see them again. And honestly, I don’t think you’re as bad as you think you are, nor as bad as you pretend to be. Anyone can see that you’re just lonely. Just accept the friendship and think about the wedding invitation. I’ve forgiven you. I promise.”
And when she leaves, I press my back against the hallway wall and stare up at the ceiling.
Conflicted.
Lucy has forgiven me, but can I forgive myself?
Chapter Twenty
There are two things
a person should never
be angry at, what they
can help, and what
they cannot.
Plato
eighteen years old
As he trails sloppy kisses down my body, I wonder again if what I’m doing is the right thing to do.
But then I remember all the money he has and what tying myself to him can do for me and Mina. I think of last Saturday, when I saw Mina’s heartbroken face, her eyes streaming with tears when the time came that I had to leave her after seeing her for the first time since she was taken from me.
And with that shattering image freshly etched into my brain, I know without a doubt that I have to do this.
So, I steel myself, and I let out a convincing moan when he touches me in a way that would make me lose control if I was even a little physically or mentally attracted to him.
But since I’m not, I cringe in my head, struggling to keep the disgust at bay.
I’m not one of those girls that cares about her virginity, but it still kind of sucks that this is the way I’m losing it. With the life I lived and the people I grew up around, I never expected to have candles and rose petals scattered across the floor of some fancy hotel I’m staying in when a man enters me for the first time…
But I also didn’t expect to be underneath a man three times my age as I let him paw ravenously at my virgin flesh.
Yet, here I am, and that’s exactly what’s happening.
He takes his plump right hand and drags it slowly and firmly across the inside of my right thigh, and I whimper. I feel him grin against my neck, probably assuming that the sound was one of pleasure not anguish.
And for the rest of the night, that’s exactly how I feel.
Anguish at each touch.
