Page 105 of Niccolaio Andretti (The Five Syndicates)
She’s looking at me like she doesn’t want to fix me. Like she loves me just the way I am. Like she knows I’m a fucked up mess, but I’m her fucked up mess, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
And I hate to admit it, but I want her to stop hiding behind her anger. I want her to stop making these poor decisions. I want her to live her life for her. And I want to be the one to help her do all of that.
It’s the worst time to come to this realization, but maybe in the wake of Vince’s selfless sacrifice, this is exactly the right time for me to realize this.
Damn it, I love Minka Reynolds.
When the phone is finally handed back to me, I expect to find rage from Asher and Bastian. Maybe even from Lucy. What I don’t expect to find is sympathy. Friendship. Family. And though I have no clue what Vince told them, I know he’s behind it.
Has he always looked out for me? How hadn’t I realized this?
I wish I wasn’t so angry back then. That I could see past the fury and forgive all of the wrongs of my past. That I could move on. Maybe then would I have enjoyed Vince and Asher’s company and appreciate that I found a family here.
And I did.
That’s exactly what the Romanos are to me.
I make a mental vow to never take Minka for granted.
On the screen, Vince is still sitting at the dining table. Ranie sits on his right, and Luigi sits on his left, reminding me that Ranie still has not fulfilled the King’s Will.
“Niccolaio, my boy,” Vince greets. “You’re blaming yourself, aren’t you?”
“Who else is there to blame?”
“No one but fate, son.”
I bark out a laugh despite the situation. “That’s a load of crap if I’ve ever heard one.”
Vince smiles with me. “Perhaps, but it made me sound wise, didn’t it?”
I agree. “You’re the wisest person I know.” I sigh. “How did I never notice this? I had this family here, and I never even realized it. I never even appreciated it while I could.”
“But you still can appreciate it. Asher, Lucy, Bastian—they’ll be there when I’m gone. You were sifting through your own struggles. You would have figured it out eventually, once you healed.”
“I just… You still had me scanned for bugs!”
“Because you wanted it. You wanted that distance.”
Shame fills me. “And I regret that now.”
“Well, don’t. Don’t you ever look back on me and feel regret. That’s not what I want my memory to be associated with. You hear me?”
“But you’re dying because of me.”
“We all die eventually, Niccolaio. I was going to die anyway.
”
He’s right. He said so himself last time I saw him… but I didn’t think he’d go like this. Because of me.
“You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for me.”
“But that’s the beauty of living with forgiveness in your heart. Of absolving your life of the anger and living with compassion. I want to do this, son. I’m happy to. If my last act on Earth can be for someone I love, then I’ve lived a privileged life.” I open my mouth to protest, but he cuts me off, “When you made that choice all those years ago to save your brother over your uncle, did you regret it? Have you regretted it ever since?”
I open my mouth to say that I haven’t, but I don’t get the chance.
“Enough,” Ranie says, cutting us off. His eyes focus on me, but they look uncertain before he steels himself and says, “You’re blood debt has been paid.”
