Page 121 of Devious Lies (Cruel Crown)
Durga: Ben.
Benkinersophobia: Naserian needs to chill with the assholes?
Durga: Ben.
Benkinersophobia: The Maasai need separation of state and daughter like ninety-year-olds in Congress need retirement?
Durga: BEN.
Durga: Stop.
Durga: OMG. You’re impossible.
Durga: Moral of the story—when you act in vengeance, everyone around you suffers.
Benkinersophobia: I’m not talking about revenge. I’m talking about regret.
Durga: Revenge and regret are cut from the same cloth. Both are infectious. Both are cured by forgiveness and forgetting. The last thing I want is for you to suffer.
Benkinersophobia: You worry too much about me.
Durga: Because I care.
My grin splintered as I waited for a response. Not because I didn’t think Ben loved me. I knew he did—just like I knew I made him smile and the real reason we refused to break the barrier and meet each other had nothing to do with the rules.
We were geode crystals.
Beautiful.
Tough.
Shiny.
Resilient.
Destined for a life sheltered inside an ugly rock.
My worry for Ben egged at me to press harder, to beg him to see himself the way I saw him, but I wouldn’t, because even geodes shattered. If we shattered to pieces, I would lose my compass, my refuge, my sanctuary.
Selfish, selfish, Emery. Tell me all about how you’re a good person.
I whispered magic words into the empty office air, even though I knew magic words wouldn’t save me from this.
Benkinersophobia: How do the Maasai still exist if they banished everyone?
Durga: Well, the story ain’t true, but it proves my point.
Benkinersophobia: You made up a story about the Maasai for me?
Durga: I know you're laughing. Stop judging.
Benkinersophobia: Durga?
Durga: Ben?
Benkinersophobia: I love you, too.
My cheeks still stung red when Nash walked into the office ten minutes later. He held out a to-go bag of overpriced food from a local steakhouse. Everyone else had gone out for Taco Tuesday lunch, so nothing but silence filled the room.
